Don't Let Me Die In Front Of Wal-Mart

I am very tired - it has been quite a day. First though, our birthdays/anniversary yesterday was lovely. A long drive all along Long Island Sound - the water was the most beautiful of blues and the sky mirrored its majesty. The air was dry and warm and the smell of salt air filtered in to our senses and delighted us. We had a delicious seafood meal - sitting by an opened window, overlooking the harbor and the boats and seagulls and marina activity. The smells and sights and sounds inside and out were magnificent. Full of our scrumptious meal and salt air we headed home.

We watched our wedding video, as we always do. We laugh and cry in all the same places. Perhaps a few more tears this year as some family and friends close to us have passed on. Health issues have emerged and some shifting has thundered underneath and around us. Our laughter and joy was abundant that day - and as we held hands watching and remember we realized with great satisfaction and honor that every vow we spoke and promised to one another is still true today. Every word is upheld and sacred and for that we are filled with gratitude and joy beyond expression.

And so today - still on vacation we venture out to get a few things at Wal-Mart. A new toaster, some school things for our grandson - just because. And it was our plan to go to one of our favorite local restaurants for lunch. My mobility is still very limited and it wasn't long before I knew my knee could not take much more. Skipp happily offered to push me in my rollator which we often do if getting from 'point-A to 'point - B is just too much for me to endure. We were exiting the store, laughing and even kissing a bit like high school sweet hearts when my world turned upside down, literally!!!!

The wheels of the rollator caught in a gully before the exit door and I flipped over back wards slamming my head and upper back on to pavement. I saw Skipp reach desperately to stop me from gong over - I saw the look of horror in his eyes as he realized he was unable to stop the fall - I watched his heart break in his eyes - it was dreadful. As I lay there stunned, facing the sky I was so scared. I immediately began yelling "get the rollator off my legs, get it off!!!" Folks gathered and untangled me. I could feel Skipp now cradling my head looking for serious injury. I was so scared. I said, "get me up Skipp, I need to get up". He encouraged me to wait just a minute or so - I breathed and relaxed in to his hands and arms supporting my head and neck. And then I said, "Now, get me up now". He and two women lifted me straight up and I stood, a bit shaky, well alot shaky, but I stood.

The area was now buzzing with Wal-Mart staff and security - forms were out and questions were being asked. The knot on my head was HUGE and my upper back, upon which I hit full force, was beginning to spasm and tighten. It was hard to breathe. I sat. I knew enough to know that head injuries are serious and that I needed to be checked out. Skipp got the car and drove me to the Yale Clinic in Guilford, just down the road.

I was petrified. Skipp stayed by my side and we got through all the "check-in" protocols and I was brought back to an exam room. I was evaluated thoroughly - some concerns. A, CT head scan was ordered. No skull fracture, no subdural hematoma (bleed in to the brain). I was quite relieved. Meanwhile I am to be awakened every two hours tonight to be sure I am oriented to time and place. I have to use ice on the huge lump on my head and heat on my back and take Tylenol/Advil every four to six hours. I feel absolutely awful. Skipp is so broken hearted that he couldn't stop the fall. He keeps apologizing. I am reliving the "flip", like PTSD. I came up here to write and process and Skipp is watching an action guy movie. We each needed to be distracted in a way that works for us. We are both in such pain. Ya know?

Okay, so, what the F___?????!!!!!!!! I am working hard to recover from the MS setback and now I am dealing with a whole knew set of painful symptoms from which to recover. I am really looking for the gratitude - Oh wait, I know.....while I was flipping on to cement and hit the ground hard I had a quick thought, and it is quite funny what we do in times of extreme stress, I said to God - "please don't let me die in front of Wal-Mart. Well, my wish came true. Here I am.