Monday, January 30, 2012

Like "Winter"

Such a great movie and an amazing song.  Hope you all enjoy.  "Winter" is the star of the movie - she plays herself.  Skipp and I watched it Saturday night with our grandson - he was sitting in between us, bag of fresh made pop corn in hand, and he looked at us from side to side, and said,  "this is nice."  :-)

So many blessings in that scenario, huh?  Hope you enjoy the video/song and if you haven't seen the movie "A Dolphin's tale', I strongly recommend that you do. There is a bit of "Winter" in all of us.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

The Sisterhood of The Traveling "Plants"

These are called 'taro' plants or in lay terms 'elephant ears'.   And they are truly reflective of a sisterhood and they have traveled - so be the title , "The Sisterhood of The Traveling Plants". My dear friend is going back home on the first of February, all the way down under to Australia.  We met about 8 years ago when she stepped in to my office and became my intern.  Our loving and strong friendship developed from there.  We were/are bonded in  so many ways, as woman, Mom's,  and within our calling to work in an environment that served the needy and most vulnerable.  We are forever friends, regardless of distance.  I will miss her though, a lot.
These two plants were actually 'born' in our in-patient department.  They lived proudly in her office and then traveled to her home once she moved on to, shall we say, better and greener pastures.  And now these beautiful plants have traveled here to live in our sunny front window.  They are truly the Sisterhood of The Traveling Plants.

And now on to another point of interest.  I have begun working on my book again. It is time.  I may not be as visible on blogger for a while because my efforts and energy will be directed into my book writing.  I wont be far, I will be right here but just not as active with commenting and posting. So please don't experience my less than normal chatter as a sign of lack of interest or whatever - I am just otherwise involved in my book writing.  I want to post a paragraph or two below and get your thoughts, k? I value all of your opinions so let me know if my style peeks your interest to read more,  thanks SO much.

The therapist’s office was in an old house and her space was on the third floor.  The stairway was narrow and winding with broken side rails and a thick dark wood banisters.  It smelled like cat litter and old heat.  The door was ajar and I entered in to what was intended to be a friendly waiting room. It had pictures of women in big hats, candles in multi colored jars burning dimly, incense simmering in brass boxes that smelled like dirty socks to me,  dried flowers in old vases that were dull in color and had  cracks and chips.  The floors were old dull wood with fringed runners and small light brown grass area rugs placed at varying angles trying desperately to cover the stains and scuffs.  There was an assortment of chairs all thread barren with stained pillows and magazines on their seats left behind by I am sure,  a previous client that ran out screaming.  The therapist’s office had, much to my shock, a  massage table right in the middle of the room  surrounded by a table with oils and towels and scented creams.  She appeared, what seemed like, out of nowhere.  Hi, I’m “Meadow lark”, “what, who”, I asked with my head cocked, “Meadow Lark, I changed my name because I wanted a name that was one with nature”.  “Oh, it’s nice , hi, I’m Anne”.  My named sounded so boring in comparison.  Meadow Lark was really big, with short spiked brown hair, wearing khaki dockers, brown deck shoes with no socks, a beige crew shirt and she had huge glasses on top of her head.   Her skin was milky and her eyes were way too deep in to her head so their green color was misty. The windows in her room were huge and the sun was blinding as it filtered in over the massage table, white wicker chairs and brown tables with magazines about nature, healing, self-help and how to grow organic vegetables.   Dara entered moments later having been in the bathroom behind the waiting room.  Meadow Lark said, “Dara asked you here today because she has something to tell you, don’t you Dara?”    Dara slumped in to a chair and then began rocking as she held her stomach and moaned.  I was trying to absorb this ridiculous scene and trying to imagine what had Dara all twisted and infantile.  Meadow Lark’s voice was nauseating to me by now as was her milky skin and misty eyes.  “Do you want me to tell her Dara” I am darting between milky Meadow Lark and moaning rocking Dara and thinking what the fuck, I should just get up and leave. Dara  nods  to Meadow Lark still moaning and rocking.  Meadow Lark comes off her chair just a bit, so one leg is half off the chair and she turns to face me, looks right at me with her sunken eyes and stupid huge glasses and milky skin. I become acutely aware of music playing.  The kind of music you hear that is intended to be spiritual but usually sounds like wild animals being executed in the jungle and the owner of such music says, “don’t you love this?” and you are saying, “oh yes, amazing” when all the time you are thinking, “this shit is scary”. And so there I am with the musical sounds of wild animals being executed, looking at someone named Meadow Lark, Dara to my side rocking and moaning............

so, what do you all think?

Stay close and so will I.


Saturday, January 7, 2012

A visit and some wisdom

Our adorable grand daughter Alaura came for a visit with her Dad and his fiance'.  This is Skipp's eldest son Adam and his daughter Alaura..  It was a lovely visit,
exhausting and lovely.

The New Year has come in with force and also calm.  New Years Eve my Mom was rushed to the ER because her dialysis port broke down - they fixed it temporarily and today she had the surgery to repair it.  Phew.  She is very brave and so wonderful.  Gosh, I love her so.......  :-)

As I sat at our dining room table today and looked out at the woods, the brook and the variety of birds gathering at our feeders I felt at peace, blessed, lucky even.  We were having coffee and writing out our bills and I thought of the timing of things and how I am fortunate to have long term disability income in addition to my social security disability.  When I first became employed at the in-patient treatment facility after graduating college a tad later in life they offered a company paid long term disability plan along with the health benefit package.  They only offered it for two years and then any one hired after that was not offered the disability insurance and those who already had it were able to keep it.  I remember when the company informed their employees  of this add-on benefit.  I wrote to the President and thanked him for this generous benefit and that although I hoped I never would need it I felt so secure knowing it was there for me if I ever did need it. Then, some 8 years later I am benefiting from this long term disability income after I was unable to work full time and eventually retired.   I will continue to receive this benefit until age of retirement which right now is 66 and if it is raised to 68 or 70 the disability carries on.  Amazing huh?  Clearly, there was a plan in place of a greater power than myself overseeing outcomes.As I reflect on so many events this powerful reality becomes clearer and clearer.

Also, as part of my career in substance abuse I was referred to a couple who are both doctors  and whose son was struggling with addiction.  I counseled them for two+ years.  During that time my Mom became ill with kidney disease.  One of the doctors is a kidney specialist and paved the way for my Mom to receive the best treatment possible.  We were given cell phone numbers and home phone numbers of her team of kidney specialists during the diagnostic and treatment decision process.  The relief in that was so wonderful.  Again,  a plan and outcomes were being overseen by a power far greater than myself.

As I look back at all the twists and turns in my life, the mistakes, the celebrations, the joys and sorrows, all the choices I made and all that happened to me not of my choosing as well I can see and understand the "whys' of it all, well, most of it.  I am not sure why I was diagnosed with MS - what the lesson is or where it is suppose to take me in the grander scheme of things. One thing is for sure.  If I never was diagnosed and I stayed working full time I never would have started this blog.  So, one of the good outcomes is I met all of you.  :-)

The choices and events that led Skipp and me to one another is by far the greatest supreme plan of all.  How we ever ended up  together is nothing short of a miracle and planned by a powerful loving force way beyond us.   All the tears and struggles we both endured were necessary steps on our way to one another.  As we both look back and realize all that happened on our way to one another we are more than
bold ed over with both wonder and humbling gratitude.

   I always loved this song and looked for it by Barbara Streisand but to no avail.  Anyway, I hope you all enjoy it.  And I hope too that as you look back over your lives thus far that you understand that each choice, each event, everything that has happened not of your choosing are all part of a greater plan overseen by a loving force.   As I wonder about certain things happening now and I cannot see yet their purpose in the grander scheme I am comforted in knowing that there is a reason and in believing that I am able to surrender more gently to a truth far beyond my reach.  Hallelujah