Monday, August 30, 2010

Don't Let Me Die In Front Of Wal-Mart

I am very tired - it has been quite a day. First though, our birthdays/anniversary yesterday was lovely. A long drive all along Long Island Sound - the water was the most beautiful of blues and the sky mirrored its majesty. The air was dry and warm and the smell of salt air filtered in to our senses and delighted us. We had a delicious seafood meal - sitting by an opened window, overlooking the harbor and the boats and seagulls and marina activity. The smells and sights and sounds inside and out were magnificent. Full of our scrumptious meal and salt air we headed home.

We watched our wedding video, as we always do. We laugh and cry in all the same places. Perhaps a few more tears this year as some family and friends close to us have passed on. Health issues have emerged and some shifting has thundered underneath and around us. Our laughter and joy was abundant that day - and as we held hands watching and remember we realized with great satisfaction and honor that every vow we spoke and promised to one another is still true today. Every word is upheld and sacred and for that we are filled with gratitude and joy beyond expression.

And so today - still on vacation we venture out to get a few things at Wal-Mart. A new toaster, some school things for our grandson - just because. And it was our plan to go to one of our favorite local restaurants for lunch. My mobility is still very limited and it wasn't long before I knew my knee could not take much more. Skipp happily offered to push me in my rollator which we often do if getting from 'point-A to 'point - B is just too much for me to endure. We were exiting the store, laughing and even kissing a bit like high school sweet hearts when my world turned upside down, literally!!!!

The wheels of the rollator caught in a gully before the exit door and I flipped over back wards slamming my head and upper back on to pavement. I saw Skipp reach desperately to stop me from gong over - I saw the look of horror in his eyes as he realized he was unable to stop the fall - I watched his heart break in his eyes - it was dreadful. As I lay there stunned, facing the sky I was so scared. I immediately began yelling "get the rollator off my legs, get it off!!!" Folks gathered and untangled me. I could feel Skipp now cradling my head looking for serious injury. I was so scared. I said, "get me up Skipp, I need to get up". He encouraged me to wait just a minute or so - I breathed and relaxed in to his hands and arms supporting my head and neck. And then I said, "Now, get me up now". He and two women lifted me straight up and I stood, a bit shaky, well alot shaky, but I stood.

The area was now buzzing with Wal-Mart staff and security - forms were out and questions were being asked. The knot on my head was HUGE and my upper back, upon which I hit full force, was beginning to spasm and tighten. It was hard to breathe. I sat. I knew enough to know that head injuries are serious and that I needed to be checked out. Skipp got the car and drove me to the Yale Clinic in Guilford, just down the road.

I was petrified. Skipp stayed by my side and we got through all the "check-in" protocols and I was brought back to an exam room. I was evaluated thoroughly - some concerns. A, CT head scan was ordered. No skull fracture, no subdural hematoma (bleed in to the brain). I was quite relieved. Meanwhile I am to be awakened every two hours tonight to be sure I am oriented to time and place. I have to use ice on the huge lump on my head and heat on my back and take Tylenol/Advil every four to six hours. I feel absolutely awful. Skipp is so broken hearted that he couldn't stop the fall. He keeps apologizing. I am reliving the "flip", like PTSD. I came up here to write and process and Skipp is watching an action guy movie. We each needed to be distracted in a way that works for us. We are both in such pain. Ya know?

Okay, so, what the F___?????!!!!!!!! I am working hard to recover from the MS setback and now I am dealing with a whole knew set of painful symptoms from which to recover. I am really looking for the gratitude - Oh wait, I know.....while I was flipping on to cement and hit the ground hard I had a quick thought, and it is quite funny what we do in times of extreme stress, I said to God - "please don't let me die in front of Wal-Mart. Well, my wish came true. Here I am.

26 comments:

Iktomi said...

aw, i'm so sorry that happened to you! i'm glad you're alright though. i'm relieved that your symptoms should be temporary, as annoying as they are. the human body can withstand mighty things, and it's a good thing or i would have lost my husband already! about 3 years ago he had a serious head injury from falling headfirst into a shallow pool. expect to be cranky and disoriented for a while, but at least you didn't die in a walmart! just one more reminder to hug your loved ones tightly. healing energies to you!

Bonnie said...

It's amazing that you are still able to find something to laugh about in such an unfortunate 'turn' of events. So glad that you were checked out and dangerous results seem to be ruled out. Take care of yourself Gail. (I would not want to die in front of WalMart either!)

Bernie said...

Gosh Gail, that episode must of been very frightening....I am so sorry but am glad that you don't seem, the worse for wear. I am sure it frightened Skipp as well.
You won't sleep well tonight but hopefully you can rest tomorrow without being disturbed....be well my friend......:-) Hugs

Diana said...

Oh Gail I so understand you not wanting to die in front of Wal-Mart. Like they need more publicity, right? I am glad that you are alright at least. It sounded like a bad spill. Maybe you could use one of their wheelchairs next time. Skipp could bring it to the car for you. Despite the fall I am glad that the two of you had some good quality time together. I guess you could look at the fall as an anniversary test. Skipp is definitely with you for the long haul! I hope your body and spirit heal soon! Love Di ♥

The-Grizzled-But-Still-Incorrigible-Scribe-Himself! said...

I'd imagine you're feeling mighty sore and beat up all over this morning. In some ways hurting worst than yesterday. But at least nothing's broken, battered, or bleeding internally, though you're doubtless bruised and have an awful headache.

Still, you had a nice day prior to your fall…and you didn't die in a Wal-Mart parking lot. Thank God for favors big and small. I say you need to celebrate another day's survival; celebrate another year, another anniversary; celebrate friends and family; celebrate being in love, loving, and being loved; celebrate summer's end and fall's beginning; celebrate good meals shared with those you care about and who care about you…even celebrate that you were able to be out and about and thus able (unfortunately) to fall in that parking lot.

Celebrate life. And while you may never quite laugh about the whole painful incident, use that wonderful will and spirit I know you have to relegate the episode to nothing more than a mishap—not a disaster or catastrophe, merely a misadventure. I once managed to fall in a canmpground parking lot, bashing into the side of my new pickup and putting a dent in the door, skinning and bruising my body something awful, blood everywhere, dang near snapping bones, and had to subsequently pay $1700 for a tetanus shot…and I couldn't blame any part of it on a Rollator or a faulty Wal-Mart parking lot paving job. You had an accident; I had a STUPID, SELF-CAUSED calamity.

Get well, heal up…climb back on that horse.

Finding Pam said...

Congratulations on your anniversary. It is so lovely to read about your night out and the dinner.

Oh my goodness, that sounds horrible about the walmart experience. I am thankful you are ok and that you didn't die in front of walmart.

It seems like often we take two steps forward and one step backwards. I was thinking how good my knee is feeling only to hurt it again. So I live in constant awareness to be careful.

I hope you get better soon and that you will not be down too long.

Love and many blessings to you.

Gail said...

HI IKTOMI-

SO nice to see you. And thanks so uch for your kind concern. My husband hit his head in a shallow pool too.!!! And ya, No last breath at Wal-Mart for me. :-)

Love to you
Gail
peace and hope.....

Lola said...

your post made me laugh and cry at the same time.
I'm so sorry you fell down, Gail.
I hope you will recover soon. Keep me posted.
All my love

Gail said...

HI BONNIE-

Ya, I held on to a morsel of my sense of humor :-) I am resting today - phew. Thanks so much for caring.

Love to you
Gail
peace and hope.....

Gail said...

HI BERNIE-

Ya, it was quite scary. And you are right, I did not sleep well at all. But at least I am beyond the time now for status checking. phew. Thanks for all your kind concern and love.
Love Gail
peace and hope.....

Gail said...

HI DIANA-
I was deciding about using one of those scooters when we got there and thought - Nah, the walking will be good.....hah!!!!!
We did have a wonderful time on Sunday and the love felt between us s we experienced this accident was immense and powerful -
Love to you
Gail
peace and hope.....

Gail said...

HI GRIZZ-

I am very sore today - more so than yesterday an bruises are showing up on shades of purple and black and blue. And Griz I know everything you wrote and I know it was not a disaster or a catastrophe, but an unfortunate mishap. I/we will rally, we always do. Today I am moaning and groaning and laughing too. It is SO hot so Fall feels so far a way - but it's coming. And that is an amazing story about your fall in the camp ground - wow!! You big galoopa!! :-) heehee :-)

Well, time to settle in for a rest and some ice on my head and heat for my upper back. I feel like some one whacked me across my back with a 2X4!!!!

Love you Grizz
Gail
peace and hope.....

Wonderingsoul said...

Oh Gail,
So sorry to hear about the shock of your fall and yet SO RELIEVED that you didn't die in front of Walmart!
I've only just read this post and think you wrote it almost 21 hours ago (??) which means that (as you've pointed out) the bruising and swelling will be coming up big time.
Know that I am thinking of you and sending you much love.
Hoping you are being well looked after and that yor poor head feels better soon.
xxx

Gail said...

HI PAM-

Always SO nice to see you here - you bring good energy, always. ANd ya, this "flip" was a big step or two backwards - so I have to muster up some more courage and forge on. Amen.

Love to you

HI LOLA -

And always so nice when you come by too - thanks for the well-wishes and for laughing and cfying with me

Love to you

HI WONDERINGSOUL -

Thank you so much for your care and concern and well-wishes too. I am so "beat up" - I can't stand myself. eesh. It will pass, I will heal, Amen. AND - it is so good to see you.

Love to you


Love to you all
Gail
peace and hope.....

Wanda..... said...

Goodness Gail, that was some happening...glad nothing was broken or otherwise seriously injured. Do hope you are feeling much better tomorrow.
Wanda

Cinner said...

Gail, oh I am so sorry that happened to you.. You must be sore, I am so so glad you did not break anything or the lord forbid die at Walmart.. I agree with Griz as you still did some major accomplishments, shopping in Walmart, you are a brave lady, enjoying time with Skipp and he is always ready to pick you up in a minute.and you made it up and stood shakily, but you stood, what a fighter and determination you have,
I hope soon things will turn around for you, you inspire others with your strength. Happy Blated anniversary and Happpy Birthday. It was our anniversary on Saturday too. I did a post about it today. Big hugs, you remain always in my prayers and thoughts. hugs.

Gail said...

HI CINNER-

First, "HAPPY ANNIVERSARY" to you and your guy!! :-)

And yes, I was determined to get up. I felt SO Powerless laying on my back on the pavement with people 'over me'. Skipp just said to me yesterday that it was such a strong statement when I said to those around me "this is a lot of woman to pick up, let's do this"!! He said he was so amazed by me.
I will go over to your blog later.

Love you girl "hey"
Gail
peace and hope....

Gail said...

HI WANDA_

thanks so much for your caring and well wishes. I/we aree/were VERY shaken and I am really hurting, but it will ease and I will carry on.

Love to you always
Gail
peace and hope....

Andy said...

"Please don't let me die in front of Wal-Mart" - yes it's funny what we think sometimes. And I liked the fact that you could see something positive - you know I believe in that, at least :-)

Meanwhile, I am so sorry Gail and I really feel for Skipp 'cos I know I would feel the same way as he did.

And now? How are you both?

My best wishes for a speedy recovery.

Shen said...

Oh Gail! What next? Sometimes it really gets to be difficult to figure out what the point of it all is. How can falling on your head in front of walmart be part of any plan??

I just have to tell myself that God knows better than I do at times like that. I'm so sorry thatyour lovely celebration ended so abruptly and in such a painful way. I'm glad you're all right (more or less).

You have the most creative post titles in blogland...

try to stay upright and keep yourself safe. This too shall pass.


love

Wonderingsoul said...

Thinking of you and hoping you are feeling at least a little less shaken.
x

Gail said...

HI WONDERINGSOUL-

I SO love that you came by to 'check on me'. It speaks volumes about YOU, me, us, in the best of ways......:-)

I am still very sore, but coming along.

Love to you my lovely and very brave friend
Gail
peace and hope.....

Gail said...

HI SHEN-

Thnk you so much for your caring and witty insightful words to me. Gid really is confusing at times. Huh?

I am over the 'danger time' so I can sleep laying flatter and so forth. I still hurt from head to toe and the bruises are large and colorful. Emotionally we are still very shaken - this event impacted us greatly. thanks for all your love and kindness

Love Gail
peace and hope.....

Gail said...

HI ANDY-

Yes, I was able to maintain some humor. :-) And thank you so much for acknowledging Skipp. He is traumatized and quite broken emotionally. Together, we are healing.I have been over to your blog but just haven't had the 'where-with-all' to comment. Know I am around, ok?

Love to you
Gail
peace and hope.....

Wonderingsoul said...

Just so you know...

I DO check...

often.

And

yes... maybe it does say something about US.

Much love x

Gail said...

HI WONDERINGSOUL-

Ya, it so does!! :-)

Love you lots
Gail
peace and hope.......