Thursday, August 12, 2010

Wishes DO Come True

Some times what we wish for is, well, sobering when our wish comes true. For example, I have been in the twilight zone of filing 'social-security-disability' claim forms. A most grueling experience. Yesterday, I received notification from the 'Social-Security-Law-Group', ( a firm handling the process), anyway - I made it through phase one with "favorable onset." Apparently, cases are randomly selected to be audited in no particular order and for no particular reason and my file was chosen - it now goes to an audit team whose function is to make sure the state workers who completed the documents did their job accurately. But my point is that I wished for my case to be approved and as much as I was relieved that it was, - the fact that it was is quite sobering. I said to myself, "Holy-shit, I really am disabled!!" :-)

Moving along with the same theme - the post office left a 'notice' which said I had a certified letter - and it is from my employer. My heart skipped a beat because the Human Resources people and management are so inept. AND, I have been saying-writing-singing-waxing-poetic' communicating in every way I know that NO paperwork in my file can state that I "quit" or left voluntarily or anything remotely close to that. It is the ONE stipulation for my "long Term Disability" to continue all the way to the age of retirement. Even when I get SSD the long term disability pays the difference to meet my full benefit from them. AND clearly all doctor verifications state clearly that I am NOT authorized to return to work due to illness and managing symptoms which therefore I cannot perform my job. Here is a conversation I had with HR yesterday.......... I will be "me" and they will be HR (duh) :-)

Me - Hi, this is Gail Eichinger, How are you

HR - fine, how are you

Me - I am okay. I am calling because I received a notice that I have a certified letter from Rushford. Do you know what it is about?

HR - Oh, it must be your pink slip.

Me - Oh, okay - do you have a copy in my file?

HR - yes hang on

Me- what does it say

HR - it says your date of hire and your last day of employment July 20th this year and the box checked off for the reason you no longer work here

Me - what box is checked off

HR - voluntary

Me - Voluntary? I didn't leave voluntarily I was told by my doctor I cannot work

HR - well, there is a box for 'other' and a space to write but it is a rule that we have to check voluntary

Me - (getting louder now), A RULE? YOU ARE TELLING ME THERE IS A RULE THAT SAYS REGARDLESS OF WHY A PERSON IS NO LONGER EMPLOYED YOU ARE OBLIGATED TO LIE???!! YOU NEED TO CHECK THE BOX THAT SAYS "OTHER" AND THEN WRITE 'medical, doctors orders'!!!

HR - oh, I don't know if I can do that

Me - I want to see the written policy directing you to lie and reflect a person's reasons for separation from employment falsely.

HR - hang on I am going to ask someone about this

HR - hi again, okay, I will send out correction stating the first slip was in error. I will check other and write medical.

Me - you personally are going to take care of this?

HR - yes, me personally.

Me - I will be waiting for your correction.

End

Talk about ridiculous, huh?

In as much as I am so relieved to be finally 'free' of the spirit breaking grips of my employer it is also quite sobering to have over a decade of service come to an end. This along with the SSD phase one approval are both long time wishes and harsh realities of, well, my reality.

So as a few final details are dangling before me, - the audit and the pink slip correction it is time to move beyond. Oh, but wait - I am in the throws of this MS setback - which, is quite limiting. Hmmmmmmmmmm, I drank a lot yesterday which eased the symptoms considerably - perhaps a constant flow of wine is the answer. :-) Seriously though, I am coming to realize something. I must find a way to keep moving and doing and enjoying regardless of the painful limits. I am not saying that I should not honor my reality or be careful and safe, rather I am saying that I can be in pain sitting on my couch or out for a nice ride with Skipp. I can have icy-hot numbness and pins and needles at home or out and about with Skipp or a friend or being with my Mom. I am praying for tolerance and the ability to live with the limiting pain and be more "alive". Quite a balance, huh?

Wishes do come true.





16 comments:

The-Grizzled-But-Still-Incorrigible-Scribe-Himself! said...

Wishes do come true…and sometimes they turn out to be a mixed blessing—not because we wished for the wrong thing, but because both people and situations seldom exist in total isolation. It's like when you were a kid and you opened a box of Cracker Jacks—to get to the prize, your Mom insisted you eat the carmel corn and peanuts. Everything comes with a price. We have to take the good with the bad and just hope the scales remain tipped in our favor.

Like you said, you can have the pain sitting in your house, feeling depressed, lonely, angry, left out, or get in the car, go visit your Mom, enjoy the ride or the shopping or dinner at a nice restaurant—and still have the pain anyway. Reality will always be reality; but you get to choose how you live within that reality. Speaking as one who knows, it's surprising how big an effect attitude can have when it comes to managing pain.

Absolutely, take all necessary measures to keep yourself safe and healthy. But also keep your spirit indomitable. The wishes will continue to come true. And BTW, I think you're already doing a great job.

Wanda..... said...

I pray for your tolerance and the ability to live with the limiting pain and be more "alive" as well, Gail. My husband deals with neuropathy, the aftermath of chemo almost 4 years ago. I hope your wish comes true.
Meanwhile, Smile!
♥...Wanda

Gail said...

HI WANDA-

Thank you for sharing about your husband and his neuropathy from chemo. I had no idea and I am sorry for his struggle. ANd like I wrote, wishes do come true and then it's like" WHAT?!!!!" :-)

Love to you
Gail
peace and hope.....

Gail said...

HI GRIZZ-
thanks for "getting me" s well. ANd you are SO right about choosing how we live within our reality. Skipp and I went out yesterday to a quaint Inn down on the water - first we brought lunch and diner packaged up to my Mom and visited and then we went down by the water and had some apps and wine and just enjoyed the smells and sights and sounds of this quaint Inn down on Long Island Sound. We laughed and joked with our waitress and thoroughly savored every moment. We held hands and smooched like new lovers. :-) SO ya, here or where-ever I am going to be in pain.
thanks for your continued validation,. love and supportive friendship

love Gail
peace and hope....

Bernie said...

Like Wanda I am praying for tolerance and acceptance for you and I love how Grizz explains and encourages.
Hang in there sweetie, all will be well, these forms will be done properly and then your file will be stamped completed and you will be able to move forward doing all the things you love and are capable of. Keeping you and your family in my heart and prayers.
......:-) Hugs

Bonnie said...

I think the way you are handling your situation is exemplary and inspiring.

Have you read Byron Katie - "Loving What Is". She has several other books too and you can watch her work with people in her workshops in video clips on YouTube. Until she had corneal transplants she was going blind (she talks about this in one of her recent books) and she used her 4 question model to accept and adapt to her life as it was. Just thought I would mention her, in case her work might appeal to you.

Shen said...

Gail, you are an inspiration. I totally understand what you are saying about the finality of it being sobering.

I know this is not the same, but this is what it reminded me of:

Five years ago I had lived through over eight years of heavy bleeding and cramps - pretty much non-stop. It got worse and worse as time went on. Finally I agreed to a hysterectomy. I had my kids and was not planning anymore.

As I prepared for the surgery, i coldn't wait to solve this issue. It had gone on and on and was truly draining the life out of me. It was wonderful to know I was not going to have the problem anymore.

after I woke up from the surgery I had a sobering realization, as well. Suddenly, I felt as if I was not a woman anymore. I felt old and worn out and as if I was not really whole any longer. I had no idea I would feel that way. I had been so focused on solving the problem that it never occurred to me that losing a part of me that had brought me four wonderful children, a part that had at one time signaled my becoming a woman, would leave me feeling like less of a person.

I cried a LOT. It was so hard to explain to my husband or anyone because I felt as if I should be happy that I had fixed this ongoing problem.

You have been very focused on solving a problem too. I really hope this does solve the problem as far as work, unemployment money, insurance, etc. Even so, now you are free to realize all the things that were too much to even think about before, so it's natural that you would be noticing things you didn't before. Suddenly the label seems real.

You are an inspiration - I say it again. Yes, you can live your life hiding in your house or out making the most of it. I see so much courage and acceptance and love and life in you. It really is amazing.

Gail said...

HI SHEN-

Thank you somuch for sharing your personal struggle and it is very much like the losses I am experiencing. Loss is loss, right? And thank you so much for your loving validation and continued support.

HI BONNIE-

Yes, Byron Katie. Very aware. :-) And I So appreciate you coming by and offering your wisdom, support andk ind understanding.

HI BERNIE-

So good to see you and feel you here. I SO appreciate you, and all your words of encouragement and loving support. I feel your hugs too. :-)

Love to you all
Gail
pece and hope.....

Diana said...

MMmmm, well I do understand being uncomfortable no matter what you are doing and yes, wine does help!
I am just sorry that you had to deal with all of the bs from hr. But truthfully I wouldn't have expected better from them. We've been through similar circumstances with hr at Jake's place of employment. It really is ridiculous. They don't care about anyone but the company. At least I've never seen it.
I hope things get moving on now for you Gail. Nothing is ever easy. Love and a BIG hug, Love Di ♥

Gail said...

HI DI-

Ya, HR, administration and management across the bopard ar all for the company. It seems to be resolved - I got a voice mail stating that the error wsa corrected and new pink slip was enroute with 'other' checked and the reason is medical, Drs orders. Good Lord

thanks for your continued understanding, friendship and love
Love Gail
peace and hope.....

Just Be Real said...

Gail wow. I appreciate you sharing. I too share with your readers and lift you up in prayer dear one. Please be safe. ((((Gail)))))

Friko said...

I came here from Lady and the Tramp, because I liked your comment.

I am amazed at your resilience and fighting spirit.
In the face of stupid bureaucracy you stood your ground and won. You may not have won the war, but each battle brings you nearer to it.

I like your resolve to choose the positive over the negative. Happy days and best of luck.

Tramp said...

What strikes me most about your conversation with the HR person was that you needed to remind them that they were lying. Pointing out to people that a statement they have made is a lie and requesting that someone take responsibility for that lie is a very potent weapon. Being such it must be used very carefully but I think you used it very effectively.
Good luck with your balance.
...Tramp

Gail said...

HI TRAMP-
Interesting that you mentioned the "lying", and my bringing that to 'their' attention. It felt very right to remind them of the very obvious. And you are right, it was quite effective. ANd I am not sure what you menat when you mentioned my "balance". Let me know, k?

HI JBR-

thanks so much for your continued prayers and support



HI FRIKO and welcome-

thank yu somuch for coming by. I appreciate your validation and kindness so much. I will stop over to your place soon


Love to you all
Gail
peace and hope.....

Tramp said...

Just popped back to say that I was referring to the balance you mentioned right at the end of the post. I understood that as your need to look after yourself and not overdo it but at the same time not to wallow in self-pity, get out, make contact and enjoy yourself.
Have a good (balanced) weekend.
...Tramp

Gail said...

HI TRAMP-

AH!! (as I hit my own forehead), I get it now. Good LOrd. Thanks SO much for coming back and clarifying. Sometimes "comments" leave much to open interpretation.

Love to you

Gail
Peace and hope

annd if you saw how many different ways I spelled "interpretation" before I got it right, and only by sheer process of elimination - you would be laughing right along with me :-) :-) LOL