Wishes DO Come True

Some times what we wish for is, well, sobering when our wish comes true. For example, I have been in the twilight zone of filing 'social-security-disability' claim forms. A most grueling experience. Yesterday, I received notification from the 'Social-Security-Law-Group', ( a firm handling the process), anyway - I made it through phase one with "favorable onset." Apparently, cases are randomly selected to be audited in no particular order and for no particular reason and my file was chosen - it now goes to an audit team whose function is to make sure the state workers who completed the documents did their job accurately. But my point is that I wished for my case to be approved and as much as I was relieved that it was, - the fact that it was is quite sobering. I said to myself, "Holy-shit, I really am disabled!!" :-)

Moving along with the same theme - the post office left a 'notice' which said I had a certified letter - and it is from my employer. My heart skipped a beat because the Human Resources people and management are so inept. AND, I have been saying-writing-singing-waxing-poetic' communicating in every way I know that NO paperwork in my file can state that I "quit" or left voluntarily or anything remotely close to that. It is the ONE stipulation for my "long Term Disability" to continue all the way to the age of retirement. Even when I get SSD the long term disability pays the difference to meet my full benefit from them. AND clearly all doctor verifications state clearly that I am NOT authorized to return to work due to illness and managing symptoms which therefore I cannot perform my job. Here is a conversation I had with HR yesterday.......... I will be "me" and they will be HR (duh) :-)

Me - Hi, this is Gail Eichinger, How are you

HR - fine, how are you

Me - I am okay. I am calling because I received a notice that I have a certified letter from Rushford. Do you know what it is about?

HR - Oh, it must be your pink slip.

Me - Oh, okay - do you have a copy in my file?

HR - yes hang on

Me- what does it say

HR - it says your date of hire and your last day of employment July 20th this year and the box checked off for the reason you no longer work here

Me - what box is checked off

HR - voluntary

Me - Voluntary? I didn't leave voluntarily I was told by my doctor I cannot work

HR - well, there is a box for 'other' and a space to write but it is a rule that we have to check voluntary

Me - (getting louder now), A RULE? YOU ARE TELLING ME THERE IS A RULE THAT SAYS REGARDLESS OF WHY A PERSON IS NO LONGER EMPLOYED YOU ARE OBLIGATED TO LIE???!! YOU NEED TO CHECK THE BOX THAT SAYS "OTHER" AND THEN WRITE 'medical, doctors orders'!!!

HR - oh, I don't know if I can do that

Me - I want to see the written policy directing you to lie and reflect a person's reasons for separation from employment falsely.

HR - hang on I am going to ask someone about this

HR - hi again, okay, I will send out correction stating the first slip was in error. I will check other and write medical.

Me - you personally are going to take care of this?

HR - yes, me personally.

Me - I will be waiting for your correction.

End

Talk about ridiculous, huh?

In as much as I am so relieved to be finally 'free' of the spirit breaking grips of my employer it is also quite sobering to have over a decade of service come to an end. This along with the SSD phase one approval are both long time wishes and harsh realities of, well, my reality.

So as a few final details are dangling before me, - the audit and the pink slip correction it is time to move beyond. Oh, but wait - I am in the throws of this MS setback - which, is quite limiting. Hmmmmmmmmmm, I drank a lot yesterday which eased the symptoms considerably - perhaps a constant flow of wine is the answer. :-) Seriously though, I am coming to realize something. I must find a way to keep moving and doing and enjoying regardless of the painful limits. I am not saying that I should not honor my reality or be careful and safe, rather I am saying that I can be in pain sitting on my couch or out for a nice ride with Skipp. I can have icy-hot numbness and pins and needles at home or out and about with Skipp or a friend or being with my Mom. I am praying for tolerance and the ability to live with the limiting pain and be more "alive". Quite a balance, huh?

Wishes do come true.