Losing MyReligion - Finding My Faith

Over the years so much has changed for me in regards to religion. And by changed I mean lost. I was raised Catholic Italian and our family went to church every Sunday and we followed and honored all the faith traditions. I felt so much a part of something so huge and powerful and life-saving. As a kid I was scared some times too - all that Catholic-Italian guilt. I believed what I was taught to be true and right and must be followed for such was the only way to be assured getting to Heaven when I died.


I don't do any of that religious ceremony any more nor do I believe any of that "burn in hell" stuff any more . It was a difficult and long transition. I am so much more connected to Jesus/God now and my faith is so strong and purposeful without all the interference of religion. I do believe myself to be a Christian and I adore Jesus - we are best of friends and I ally with his teachings as they are good, loving and hopeful. I have a Jesus inspired creed by which I live and it starts with love, promotes justice, is kind, humble, generous, natural and simple, fair, musical, fun, honorable, respectful and more love.

My ability to "know" any of that after I was abused and betrayed by Roman Catholic clergy was destroyed. I can tell you that I tried, I honestly tried to belong to a faith community again of various denominations and venues - even a 'Women's Spirituality' group - I was destined to find my way back to my faith but not in a church with false leaders and dishonest servants. I finally found my way and I began walking hand in hand with Jesus - me and Him - and we talked, and He listened and I listened - and Jesus and I continue to do so - and some times I will commune with one, or two or three other faithful people and we give witness - not planned, rather unexpected and from the heart. Oh there is nothing more beautiful than that. I feel Jesus present amongst us and our hearts open and spill out the loving truth. Oh it is so glorious when that happens. No altars, or pompous religious garb, or golden chalices and marble floors - just hearts - broken and poured out before one another and our Lord. Oh it is so humbling when that happens. I believe it is the way Jesus intended it to happen with him, and in His name.

And so as he dies for me, for us all this Friday I am at the foot of His cross - I am humbly kneeling before Him - I will thank and praise Him. I will await His resurrection and freedom. And I will continue to walk hand in hand with Him, listening, believing, sharing from my brokenness so others can have hope - I renew this promise every Good Friday. My brook is running high and free so I can submerge my feet as I have so many years before and promise Him that I will share the gift He has given me - the gift of truth. It s all He has ever asked of any of us - to be true and to share our truths with others - to be broken and poured out so others can have hope. Amen.