EBB AND FLOW OF LIFE

Our celebrations were wonderful in the simplest of ways. -long talks and silences over coffee, our wedding video playing in the back ground, a glass of wine, Skipp's guitar, my drum sticks and our voices blending in harmony as we sang old folk songs and favorites of ours, cards and flowers and well wishes from cyber space to our front door, fun food and family visits, a delicious meal down on the water on the Guilford shore looking out to the lobster boats and Long Island Sound, the sky turned winter gray and the cool salt air filtered in through the window as we ate and drank and laughed and talked and held hands. I am filled with gratitude by all the gifts in our lives so evident in just this one paragraph.-
our home
music
love
contentment
food
wine
family
friends
laughter
sight-sound-touch-taste-
ALL GIFTS and many, many more. The list could go on forever.

Times like these - those special dates that bring back memories and are reminders of so much of what was and what is. People don't get to over half a century old without some "life-lesson gifts', you know the one's I am talking about, right? Oh things like, death, loss, betrayal, disappointment, fear, illness, and so forth - and I am no exception nor is Skipp. I always write about balance and so it is that our life has a mix of gifts that leave us screaming with joy and/or screaming with "why"!! We reconcile this mix by honoring all of it - sounds weird huh? to honor the hard lessons/gifts? They are all part of our design - our life together - ours to face, our shared joys and sorrows - As we watched our wedding video and listened to our vows of promise, hope and love unconditional the camera scanned over our guests. Our brother-in-law, who just died this past January was our 'camera man. He captured the evening so well. Skipp and I watched the video as it paused on his dear friend Mike who died of AIDS a few years back - he was born infected. Our young nephew, Clayton - just 32 when he died in 2002. My best friend's Dad, Pete, died three years ago this past June. A long time family friend - Joe, he too passed six years or so ago. And my oldest daughter Kristie, who has since moved 500 miles away - I miss her and my grandchildren Leanna and Jacob so much. And others whose lives have changed, so much so, that their closeness to us has ebbed and flowed and drifted away. And there is the strength of the constants - My Mom, my sister, my best friend JoAnn, Dolan, Jennifer, and of course, "us", - still standing - still loving - still believing - still singing - still laughing - still crying - still blessed - still grieving - still celebrating - oh yes, celebrating, all of it!! It is our life just as it is.
And although I have posted this song before, it is fitting I do so again, by a different singer this time - a man whose voice is haunting and passionate - whose life had meaning and demands and love and truth. When I first heard this version we were in Brooklyn visiting Dolan for his 25th birthday. Dolan took us to one of his favorite cafes. It was an old rustic place with dark beaten wood and tilted booths and old crooked floors - and as I walked in this version of "In My Life" was playing - I asked our waiter who was singing it and he answered, "why that is Johnny Cash from his last CD of all cover songs - recorded shortly before he died" And my sister gave us the CD for our anniversary. It is amazing. :-) And so I end this writing with 'Johnny Cash' singing "In My Life".



Love Gail
peace.....