THE INNOCENCE IS GONE

That is a title of a song I wrote and Skipp put to music. I wish I could put it on the computer but I simply do not know how. I can share the lyrics - and I will. I haven't ever written about my eldest daughter - Kristie. She is the one that lives in upstate NY, about 500 miles from here. She has 2 children Leanna and Jacob. She was quite young the first time she left home - she was 16 and pregnant. And so the song "The Innocence Is Gone"

I stood at the window
you were only 16
tracing I love you
your finger following mine

tears flowed from your eyes
my child little girl of mine
then the train whistle blew
and you were gone.....


and so he was waiting
this man of hate and shame
I knew he'd hurt you
I couldn't even speak his name

my God what can I do
I can't stop the train
I tried to keep you in my arms
now you are headed for his hateful charm

(chorus)
oh the innocence is gone
the life inside you growing
I will carry you in my heart
please come home......

and then one day you called me
said Mom I wanna come home
I traveled 500 miles
you and your baby, you were all alone

.................................

oh the innocence is gone
another life inside you growing
I carried you in my heart
and now you're home.......

and so she lived with us, and pregnant again. We secured a loft apartment for her and Leanna very close to us. And then Jacob was due. Skipp and I were in the delivery room - and it was long and so hard for her. And then, he was born still.....I have never seen such a color as still as he was - it was steel gray blue and so quiet, so very still. I laid over my daughter and Skipp laid over me and we prayed.........We could hear them working on him, trying to bring him back - I felt him leave - his spirit rise and the room was more still and cold........I could see from the corner of my eye that they had stopped working on him and they were turning to come to us to tell us the sad news - and in an instant - in a moment when we were all caught between life and death and life - we hear a beautiful sound - it was Jacob - the room warmed - the sound got louder - and in a second we all screamed and cried and cheered - he came back. And he had a peace about him - and I Knew he saw Jesus - was held in his arms and brought that peace back as a gift. It was a miracle......................

His baptism was a celebration of miracles and life promised and peace and hope. And yes, his song, "Jacob's Song" It was actually a poem I wrote for his baptism and Skipp set it to music. It was later performed at the 'Special Olympics" opening ceremonies and was chosen as the theme song for the Jerry Lewis Telethon and performed at venues all over the state. And so Jacob's miracle of coming back to life inspired so many.
We have many copies of this song and it still 'sells' and we make donations to Special Olympics and or "Jerry's Kids" from any tapes we sell. If anyone is interested, please let me know.


And so he suffered lack of oxygen which caused brain damage and we were told he wouldn't ever walk or talk. Oh how Jacob defied all the odds - and yes, he has his special issues but he runs and laughs and speaks beautifully - he can fix anything and is quite handsome. :-) And so Kristie's life unfolded as a single Mom of a beautiful daughter and a special needs son. We stood by her and helped her and we all grew together as a family. Over time she decided that she wanted to go back upstate NY. She said she couldn't afford to live in Connecticut and that the cost of living upstate NY was much lower and so she left again - about 8 years ago now. She is a CNA and woks hard. She visits rarely which is heart breaking for me and my ability to travel is minimal. We talk on the phone and she tells me she loves me and yet it leaves me sad - I have missed so much of her life and of Leanna and Jacob's life. Most days I am reconciled. sigh....... She is a "tell it like it is" kind of girl - no holds barred!! She is rough around the edges and has a raw wisdom that is profound. She doesn't care about clothes or make up and prefers jeans and work boots and sweat shirts. She loves horses and all animals but especially horses. I got her, her own horse when she was 10. A wonderful time for us all. I love hearing her stories about her patients at the nursing home she cares for - she adores them all. She may have left home in distance but her core of goodness and purpose were built when she was a little girl and that is with her always. - and therefore, so am I. I taught her everything I know.





Love Gail
peace......