Thursday, October 2, 2008


Quite an interesting word-promise, used so easily and often not said or 'promised' with the true and powerful meaning and purpose it demands. - a simple definition from the dictionary I found was - "an oath or affirmation, a vow."

I prefer to hear or say non-promising statements unless I or the person making the promise is quite sure they will 'keep their word', otherwise it is best to say such things as: I hope to, I want to, I will try to, I believe I will, I plan to, maybe, I am not sure, if only I could, even I don't know if I can. At least with these non promising statements the receiver is not being set up for disappointment. Well, even so, people want to believe whatever will in fact be true. That's just human nature.

All that being said, why do we promise someone something. For me, at the time, I believe it is what I and they want and need to hear. It is a relationship bridge that moves things along the spectrum of what the hopes are for continuum with some sort of peace of mind. Once promised, it is so, and therefore no worries ensue, right? Wrong. It is in the very promise itself that we set ourselves up for deception, betrayal, hurt, fear and disappointment. I, like you, have promised and been promised many things and many have not lasted. Broken promises are the inspiration for songs and poetry and medications alike. No one likes to be 'made the fool'.

I am living and loving in some promises given and received these days and I have been for almost 20 years. These promises, vows, have become ever more important, increasingly valuable, life sustaining, celebratory, comforting, contagious, enlightening, powerful, and enforced every day. I look back upon a myriad of broken promises and the 'promise' I have been gifted with in my life for almost two decades surpass and over shadow all the broken promises that shattered me before. They are all a distant memory. Their purpose? - was to give me great delight in the vast difference of then and now.

I have promised and been promised many times. I don't promise anything unless I am quite sure I can deliver. One cannot spread one's self too thin when it comes to promises. They require much thought, energy, commitment, perseverance and understanding. I cherish and protect and fight for the promised in my life. Each promise and each person to which I have vowed knows that I will keep my promises at all cost, no matter what. The important few in my world that have promised me? Their determination is the same as mine.

What about you and the promised in your world. What do they believe about your ability to stay 'true to your word', your promise-your vow, and what do you believe about them staying true to theirs?

All things considered, all subtle variables in view, I promise to never promise unless I feel that surge of adrenalin that drives me to honor and fight for it's intention.



Comrade Kevin said...

In this age, which is very skeptical and quite cynical, promises of any kind are assumed to be either wishful thinking or outright lies.

Giving people faith again in the inherent goodness of people is really what needs to change.

Gail said...

Hi Kevin

Thanks for stopping by and for your insights. Sorry about the 'moderation' feature' now in place. Some here were quite unkind and I chose to filter' them out.

Your last line about "giving people faith again in our inherent goodness being what needs to change." SO, so true. And, that change begins with me, and you, and.........on and on. The ripple effect of our kept promises in our little corner of the world has an impact as would the opposite if that were the case. With those closest to us they know what they can count on. They take that foundation and step out in to the world knowing there is always a place to come home. I am nos sure where I am going with this so I will end by saying I/we are responsible for our own words and at all cost we need to ensure our integrity and the integrity of those to whome we speak/promise.


Anonymous said...

I am not the anonymous' you justifiably deleted. I was alarmed by the content of those comments. Quite unfortunate. I have been reading TGT since it came on and I found my way over to you as well.
Your writings, some of them, are quite dark and yet light or hopeful at the same time. I don't understand your determination. It is foreign to most,to me for sure.
I don't often comment, rather I surf and read. I also went over to p.e. nolan. She is very intelligent as is Fallen Angel. I am not saying you aren't, please. I just find your tellings more in keeping with my more soulful, simple style of communicating.
Fallen Angel especially I am very leary of leaving any comment. I have read how he comments back and more often than not it is critical. I also am very intrigued and drawn to his philosophy. I also think p.e. nolan should run for political office. I say that with sincere compliment.
If I may, about Jenna. My, my what a tragic story. I think that what all of you have done to care for her in this blank forum is quite special. I have followed it from the beginning.
After all those awful comments I wanted to step up. I hope you don't mind my being anonymous. If I do comment I sign as written below


Gail said...

Hello Padre,

I don't mind at all that you blog anonymously. I do appreciate the kindness of your words and your acknowledgment of the unfortunate rudeness of others, as of late. Now that I have gone to 'moderator' mode such comments will not ever be allowed.

And yes, Fallen Angel and p.e. nolan are very well versed and very, very intelligent. I do write/tell in a simpler way. I am no competition for either of them.

I try to comment back to every one who stops by. That just feels like the right thing to do.

In regards to my determination which you mentioned? One doesn't even know what one can get through until faced with the challenge. From any other perspective it is unknown.

I am glad you commented. Stop by any time.


Tricia said...

Hey Gail - I'm blushing at what Padre said. It's much more typical for people to say I should be doing stand up ;)

The only people I ever promise anything to are little kids - and it's like the old song from Girl Scouts:
when e're you make a promise
consider well its importance
and when made
engrave it upon your heart