Thursday, October 9, 2008


Big word, huh? Who has power in your life. To whom have you given your power away. I have given my power away too many times to recall. It made sense at the time. In hindsight- huge mistakes.

Recently, I have been over powered by righteous determination. Believing therefore, I am inferior. What? And not in the way you might think. Let me try and explain.

People of this particular mindset insist that their experiences, their views, their life, their reasons, their admittances, their purpose, their understandings, their opinions, their fears, their hopes, their conflicts, their ideals and ideas, their surrender, their courage, their battles, their random acts of kindness, their giving, their holding back, their insights, their mistakes, their isolation, their joining, their faith, their abuses, their deceptions, their knowledge, their purpose, their unknowns, their rudeness, their sensitivity, their demanding, their silence, their punishments, their dismissals, their gatherings, their judgments, their criticisms, their praises, their pain, their joy, their dreams, their desires, their weaknesses, their strengths, their answers, their questions, their challenges, their obstacles, their direction, their refusals, their rage, their peace, their identity, their reflections, their needs, their satisfactions, their humor, their cruelty, their aggressions, their gentleness, their defenses, their honesty, their expectations, their disappointments, - there are more but I will conclude the list with their passion.

The point about power is when all of the above is presented as if others have no equal right to be heard or when someone is trying to express any of the above about themselves and the person dominating has an air of "whatever" as if others are speaking nonsense - the listeners power has been robbed or given away. It is a combination of give and take. People leave these conversations feeling very weakened. More power is given away when one keeps trying to be heard and their voice falls to the deaf ears of the righteous. I know this type person sees themselves as far superior in every area of their life. I know how misinformed they are, not about themselves, what do I know? - but in their inability to honor others and what they believe for themselves.. I, in such conversations honor and respect the righteous speaker even though I disagree with their arrogant tirade. I maintain integrity for them and for me. It is the lack of integrity and respect in return that is their attempt to be even more superior at my and others expense. Somehow they insist that they know that others are nothing and have nothing, comparatively. No one exists but them.

I believe we have a responsibility to empower each other not dis-empower by spewing experiences and views that are unique only to the speaker. Rather, we need to listen for the successes and challenges and victories based on the other person's life and acknowledge their power for what it means to them. Certainly, we should not suggest or insist that because we don't fully know another person's life's journey that somehow only ours is worthy. When that is the message, the inference, the outright 'tell-it-like-it-is" approach to gaining personal power, no one really wins. The person speaking of such righteous power knows they are beating down the listener and the person fighting to be heard realizes that they are being insulted, being beat up so another can be empowered. I am not sure if the one delivering the verbal beating really feels good about themselves after because I have never ever been in that role. I have been in the role where I actually feel as if I am looking up at them like they are positioned over me handing down their final judgment - their final blow - their final pointed finger, rendering those beneath them silent.

These insecure power hungry, right at all cost types are everywhere. They are at work, in families and in every possible role of perceived authority or understood craziness. I believe that when these types are in a position to gain momentum at the expense of others it is dangerous and unyielding. Only those being robbed of their power or by necessary design are giving it away can stop the person who is doing it. Much easier said than done, I know.

Who takes your power? To whom do you give your power away? It is an epidemic.

not so peaceful in this moment in time


Anonymous said...

hello to you gail
it is jenna
you feel mad to me
i know about bad power
garrett had very bad power
i felt under him
he never hear me talk
he yelled too loud over me
he has power in his hands
it is good i am at allys
i wrote to fallen angel
he did not answer
i look to see i feel bad
that is bad power too
i say hello to T
ally is going to come with me and porter
her parents said it is okay to go with us at thanksgiving
i am happy she is going
i think she likes porter
i hope you get less mad


Gail said...

Dear jenna-
Hi there. Oh, I am not mad - really. I very rarely feel mad or angry. There are situations that have provoked me because injustices are happening and I react because I am a bit of a rebel and I do rise up against injustice. That writing was a way to process, and vent. Ya know?

I was VERY happy to hear that Ally is going with you and Porter to Arizona for Thanksgiving. That will be a fun trip for all of you. How do you feel about Ally "liking" Porter?

As far as Fallen Angel not writing back? Try and not take it personal. Time is a mystery for all of us.

I do get that you know all too well about 'bad power'. You have made changes to eliminate that from your young life and once you are in Arizona for good you can build up your own 'good power'.

You take care jenna

P. E. Nolan said...

I am commenting to say I have nothing to say since keep coming back to the same damn squirrel cage myself. The power-grab is an epidemic, for sure. Maybe it's like Shit Trickles Downhill in the grand scheme of parenting. It boggles the mind.

Hey Jenna.
Gail's right - don't take The Bartender from Boston (aka Fallen Angel which I refuse to use) personally. He's kind of chicken in his own way sometimes. I would imagine he's a bit intimidated by the influence he has in your life. If it's any consolation, he never answers me either.

Comrade Kevin said...

Some people feel as though they have the right way to go about conducting business. Some people believe they are supremely right. Some are correct in their assumptions and some not.

Some feel themselves insecure enough to feel the need to be led and wish for others to make decisions for them. Others feel as though their viewpoints are being compromised in the process.

Power is often in the eye of the beholder. Some people lead for the sake of being drunk on power and some people have altruistic intentions which step on toes.

Gail said...

Hi Kevin-
thanks for taking the time. I like your insights. And that word 'altruistic', wow - my understanding of the word is that those who are altruistic create the illusion that everything they do is not for personal gain - hah!!

Enjoy your weekend and keep singing. :-)