Thursday, September 25, 2008


I was moved to explore the concept of "nests" while watching a show about vampires. He, the vampire, in this fictional depiction about humans and vampires now able to 'live' amongst one another (the vampires are all actually dead and thrive on synthetic blood), said to a 'female human of interest' that he was more human in his demeanor and life because he did not live with other vampires in their 'nests'. Subsequently he could adapt to other lifestyles more human and fit better in their varying yet similar nests. He had not taken on or learned the behaviors and expected life style of vampires other than the need for synthetic blood and the reality that he is dead.

This really got me to thinking about my "nests". I have my "home-nest", my "family nest", my "friend's-nest" my "work-nest", my "community-nest", my "blog/email-nest", my "town-nest", my "state-nest", and my "country-nest" For this writing my focus will be on the first few; home-family-friends-work. That is where most of my"world" matters on a day to day basis. It is where and how I have chosen to belong and with whom.

My "home nest"? This interacts with family and friends in and out of the nest. The main dwellers are me and my husband Skipp. Many, many people have been in and out of our nest. A nest where many have found solace, love, safety, laughter, music, and good food and wine. It is what we stand for, believe in and preserve in our nest, along with respect, celebration, honor, hope, faith, and kindness. Our children have grown and thrived here and left the nest. Family and friends have celebrated, cried, resolved, argued, laughed, sang, ate, drank, gotten high, played instruments, have challenged, have spoken and been heard, have sat quietly in moments of desperation and fear, have rejoiced in moments of victory and new hope. Our nest is alive strong and has withstood many, many storms for ourselves and those we love. Anyone who comes in to our 'nest' knows what exists within and understands that being in our nest is a privilege for us and for them that requires really only one thing, that whomever enters comes in celebration of us and what our nest means and that we are in celebration of them and what they bring in to our nest.
Few have been asked to leave our nest. No one can enter with a weapon. We could care less about the "right to bear arms", not here, not ever. There is no violence of any kind tolerated in our nest. If, by one's desire to live as they choose it is destructive to what our nest stands for - then they are not welcomed. People's true colors show rather quickly and we have no problem saying, "not here". This is a nest worth fighting for, preserving and honoring. This is a nest that is 'life-giving' and we take in as much as we give out. We are always aware of the balance.

About my 'work-nest'. Some might call that nest a clique. Perhaps it is. I know that the seven of us in our 'work-nest' are very hard to penetrate. We are very cautious of letting colleagues in to our nest. Right or wrong, they must prove themselves worthy of our trust and confidences. People spend many, many hour at work. Nests form at the workplace and each has it's own design and expectations so to belong.

Nests are a necessary form of survival. Birds have them, wolves have dens and packs, bears have caves, and on and on. People build nests to live in, feel safe in, work in, play in, and grow in. The people in and out of the nests changes; some leave because it is time to go and build their own nest, some are thrown out and forced to find a new nest, some stay alone and live in their nest in isolation. It is still a nest. I know of parents that are no longer able to live in their nest - some have abused, some have been abused, some believe a different nest with someone else is a better nest to love and play in, some simply stop thriving in the nest for many reasons, some times one dies and the nest no longer makes sense. Sadly too, children leave their home-nests - they too may have been abused, some become destructive to the nests by their rage or addictions and they are a strong threat to others in the home nest and must go or they run away-the nest dwellers fight to keep everyone in their nest until it becomes a battle that cannot be won and a matter of safety. Nests are destroyed and built everyday. Everyone needs a nest to call home where they feel safe, loved and liked, are free to grow and make mistakes and where they know they have purpose and a place. It is the way of the world.

So what of the vampire? What would he or she learn about how to live, love, work, play, if he or she were in your nests. I have already told you what he or she would learn in mine.

Do any of you believe in vampires?



eric said...

Interesting metaphor! Yes, we all have our nests. It's unfortunate that we often feel compelled to act differently, depending on our environment. Likewise, we need a loving environment to grow and learn.

There's also this great big ol' nest - encompassing all the others - called Earth. I wish we took better care of it!

Gail said...

Thanks for visiting Eric.

Originally I spoke of the 'earth' as the ultimate nest but left it out because I felt it deserved a post in of itself.
And yes, we ALL could do more to care for our earth.

And the part about acting differently? Different is good in many ways - and being accepting of our differences is important. It gets crazy and harmful when we try to force our 'way' on to someone else. I know what feels right for me blah blah blah and I don't hurt anyone by staying true to that. Ya know?

See you here or at your place.


Anonymous said...

hi gail trish too it is jenna
i wrote to fallen angel
is he mad at me
i told him i was good
i said i am having a bad day
ally took me and porter too for pizza
he called me he said he loves me
he said he was sorry
i listened i cried
i dont get how love and beating go
i asked fallen angel if they can
i am asking here too
i get confused when he talks nice
he said he would buy me a car
i can take it to arizona
i didnt tell fallen angel that
i didnt want to say too much
i am confused


Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
P. E. Nolan said...

Where in God's name did all that come from? Pretend Vampires? Like those silly children all dressed in gothic outfits pretending to be over-intelligent and triple sensitive, self-righteous and misunderstood?

Jeez: These pathetic individuals must think burning up homeless guys for kicks is the way to help the world.

Someone get the Thorazine. Put red food coloing in it so they can pretend it's real blood.

Honestly - go jack off somewhere else.

P. E. Nolan said...

PS to Jenna
How do love and beatings go together?
Simple: Some people are twisted.
Some people are so twisted they glorify their own nauseating behaviors.

I'd say they all belong in jail - and maybe they do - but I'm thinking three squares and all the BDSM sex they can handle is a reward.

P. E. Nolan said...

PPS to Jenna
Dear Jenna, I was talking more to those nasty tempered pretend vampires (and I hope you didn't read what they said because their comments were as vile as if they were child abusers themselves).

Real love and beatings don't go together. You can get angry to the bone at someone - with good cause - and never get violent. All humans do things they regret sometimes, but some people are truly abusive and repeat their cruelty over and over in many ways.

That doesn't mean you shouldn't take the car, necessarily. And if he offers money for college, take it up front in cash.

He's trying to buy your forgiveness because he feels bad about himself. Like those people who give lots of money to churches so they can get into heaven even though everyone knows they are assholes.

Being a practical female whose granny had five husbands, I'd take the cash and merchandise and get the fuck out of there WITHOUT forgiving him. You can always sell the car and keep the money - but if he won't give you the title, it certainly means he's still trying to control you. You don't need that when you'll be able to buy your own car soon enough and get to college on financial aid just like everyone else.

You're going to a brand new nest, baby, with people who love you and want the best for you. Everything is going to be fine.

You're not bad: He is bad. You may have pissed him off (like talk back to him and drink his liquor), but that isn't bad. He is bad and most likely trying to blame you for making him be that way - just like the disgusting old man who rapes a 12 year old girl and says it's her fault for being so pretty. Or he couldn't help it because he was drunk.

Gail said...

Hi Trish -

Thank you SO much for your valiant support. You truly 'gave it back to 'em'. Whomever the cowardly vampires are.
And your words to Jenna - point on.

I agree about the car and I want to re-enforce the 'no strings attached'. SO take heed Jenna Trish knows what she is talking about.

I am glad you found your way to Fallen Angel and he responded, in kind. And yes, take time to heal and then join your Mom and Uncle at Christmas.

Write whenever you can.


Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Gail said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
P. E. Nolan said...

Too bad Anonymous seems to be stuck somewhere between ludicrous and pathetic - like a terminally limp dick that refuses to learn some new tricks . . .