Shifting

I feel the shift...................I can't quite explain it - but it is happening. Despite the joy and frolic and innocence Gracey-Blue has brought to us - the shift is still occurring. I believe Gracey-Blue is providing purpose and balance amidst the presence of movement. No matter what the shift Gracey-Blue's needs remain consistent. There is comfort in that.

I do know when the shift started. It was January 2nd 2010 - when my Sis had the heart attack and had to have two arteries cleared and stinted. I have not got my feet planted on solid ground since. Add to that my BP meds needing to be changed, again and I started to spin a bit with wonder and whys and what ifs. Oh I know how out of tune with the universe that type of thinking is and how it does not give way to staying in the moment, blah, blah, blah. It is a restless feeling and I believe that restless means change in coming. I feel it moving within me, sort of under me and through me all at once. The earth is moving under my feet as I try to stand firm.

And so I realize - I am doing all I can to manage my own health - both the MS and my blood pressure. I trust my PCP and he will get the right blend and dosage. He is NOT worried. And for the most part I do not live in the limits of MS but rather the freedoms. So what is this shift, movement, momentum with a force of it's own that I am feeling - and how do I go for the ride with faith and trust that all is exactly as it should be. At times I do just that and at times i scream "Whoa - I want to get off". Today, so far, I feel balanced. The rumble of the movement is slow and barely noticeable - I know it is there but it is calmed. And as I write this post I also realize that there is so much spinning wonderfully around me - Skipp's unyielding love, my beautiful Mom's love and faith and promise, my sis is doing better, my son is aspiring and happy with his life, my girls, for today are dealing with their crisis's, I am up and about and doing all good things for myself - exercise, healthy food with restricted salt, vitamins, fresh fruit and veggies, lean everything, whole grains and portion control - and Gracey-Blue sweet Gracey-Blue.

So as I feel the shift I must blindly not resist it's intent. It is happening around me. I am in charge of what I am in charge - and nothing more. The world will do as it will regardless of my joy or sadness, fear or courage, faith or doubt. I will 'arrive' on solid ground again - with both feet. The shift will finish and I will know....................