Saturday, January 30, 2010

Shifting

I feel the shift...................I can't quite explain it - but it is happening. Despite the joy and frolic and innocence Gracey-Blue has brought to us - the shift is still occurring. I believe Gracey-Blue is providing purpose and balance amidst the presence of movement. No matter what the shift Gracey-Blue's needs remain consistent. There is comfort in that.

I do know when the shift started. It was January 2nd 2010 - when my Sis had the heart attack and had to have two arteries cleared and stinted. I have not got my feet planted on solid ground since. Add to that my BP meds needing to be changed, again and I started to spin a bit with wonder and whys and what ifs. Oh I know how out of tune with the universe that type of thinking is and how it does not give way to staying in the moment, blah, blah, blah. It is a restless feeling and I believe that restless means change in coming. I feel it moving within me, sort of under me and through me all at once. The earth is moving under my feet as I try to stand firm.

And so I realize - I am doing all I can to manage my own health - both the MS and my blood pressure. I trust my PCP and he will get the right blend and dosage. He is NOT worried. And for the most part I do not live in the limits of MS but rather the freedoms. So what is this shift, movement, momentum with a force of it's own that I am feeling - and how do I go for the ride with faith and trust that all is exactly as it should be. At times I do just that and at times i scream "Whoa - I want to get off". Today, so far, I feel balanced. The rumble of the movement is slow and barely noticeable - I know it is there but it is calmed. And as I write this post I also realize that there is so much spinning wonderfully around me - Skipp's unyielding love, my beautiful Mom's love and faith and promise, my sis is doing better, my son is aspiring and happy with his life, my girls, for today are dealing with their crisis's, I am up and about and doing all good things for myself - exercise, healthy food with restricted salt, vitamins, fresh fruit and veggies, lean everything, whole grains and portion control - and Gracey-Blue sweet Gracey-Blue.

So as I feel the shift I must blindly not resist it's intent. It is happening around me. I am in charge of what I am in charge - and nothing more. The world will do as it will regardless of my joy or sadness, fear or courage, faith or doubt. I will 'arrive' on solid ground again - with both feet. The shift will finish and I will know....................






31 comments:

The Rambling Taoist said...

Ya know, I think EVERY moment represents a shift; a shift in time, space, consciousness. Mostly, we don't recognize the shifts. It's only when the shift is significant that we feel as if we no longer stand on solid ground.

Shen said...

"It is a restless feeling and I believe that restless means change in coming."

I know that feeling well.
You sense change coming and it is somewhat disconcerting, especially when things have been good.

Things do change, and it it isn't always for the better... but it isn't always for the worse, either. All things happen at the perfect time.

"The world will do as it will regardless of my joy or sadness, fear or courage, faith or doubt. I will 'arrive' on solid ground again - with both feet."

Stay with that.
It is incredibly insightful.
Also, stay with the knowledge that you are not alone.

Gail said...

HI SHEN-

Thank you so much for your gentle and loving words of understanding. You reflected back, my sentiments beautifully.

Love Gail
Peace

Gail said...

HI R T

"Thank you" - you are 100% right. I felt it as I read your words. I SO appreciate and respect your shared wisdom.

Love to you
Gail
peace.....

cinner said...

Hi Gail, you have had a lot go on so far this year, so it makes sense that you are feeling a little uneasy. remember your post where you were walking in the stream, this time it will be you and your gracie blue. keep doing what you can with the ms. of course we doubt things, and question, thats why all the good times are so good, because we care and have a heart. I love you girl, hey! lol. Big hugs are sent your way!

Bernie said...

I think we all enjoy our comfort zones and most dislike any kind of change....you are very sensitive to all things around you. I'm not sure what this unease means Gail but I do know you will deal with whatever comes your way, you are a strong woman....take care my friend.....:-) Hugs

Wanda said...

When my Dad died unexpectedly in 1980, I dreamed such a complicated dream of him coming back to visit...there was an enormous hill of shifting sands, different items would come into and out of view in the sand...He told me things would always change, but not to fear it, just move with it. His death was the first major change for me to experience in my life. We all learn to balance on our shifting sands...to find that solid ground.
Smiles to you Gail...Wanda

Iktomi said...

few people realize the healing power of change. perhaps this change is a breaking down of old barriers... the sign of a once-steady wall now ready to level itself and be one with the earth again.

or perhaps it is the beginnings of a small plant breaking through stone.

hope only exists when change is looming over the horizon.

Gail said...

HI IKTOMI-

thank you for your wise and kind words that offer possibilities of reason.y our wisdom is so amazing. I love your rods of how hope only exists wher change looms. wonderful.


HI WANDA-

Wow, I so appreciate your sharing of your Dad's wisdom with me. I Love the image of the shifting sands and to be one again on solid ground. Thank you so much.


HI BERNIE-

I so appreciate your confidence in me. :-) Some times I lose sight of my own strength and ability to 'deal'. Thank you SO much for seeing me more clearly that I could see myself.


HI CINNER-

thanks girl for knowing my world and what keeps me going. I know 2010 started out rough and that the shift is all about that. I also know I am grounded in many ways so I will feel that security as I ride the shift.


Love to you all
Gail
peace.....

PENolan said...

I've been struggling to break a few barriers - the ones that live inside me and limit what I can and cannot do.

There are always realities we cannot anticipate or control. I'm with IKTOMI on this one. It's the promise of change that gives me hope.

Wandering around blogland this morning, I've seen lots of reflection and introspection. Seems to go hand and hand with winter.

It's good to hear your sister is on the mend.

Choices said...

Hi Gail,
Every day brings on a new moment that brings on change. Sometimes changes are hard to handle. Strength is what is needed to handle all the feelings that come our way. You, Gail will prevail because you are strong.
Take care and continue to be strong.

Diana said...

It sounds as thought things are moving along well for you Gail. Just think about spring, I'll bet things get even better!
I understand your feelings about shifting. For me it feels as though things are moving to fast at times and I get confused. Jake is good at balancing my feelings. But when it gets to be to much, I hibernate at home until I gain the momentum that I need to catch up!
Love Di

Margie said...

Dear Gail
Just hold on to those things that you treasure when your life be feeling unbalanced!
(You have many!)
That is what I do and that always brings my life into balance once again!

I keep you in my good thoughts!

Enjoy that sweet Gracey-Blue!
She is so adorable!

Margie:)

Gail said...

HI MARGIE-

thank you so much for your loving encouragement. I so agree about hanging on to what is good and solid in my life, and I do, I am. :-)

HI DIANA-

I so appreciate your insights - you are always so real. And yes, I will shift right into the glory of Spring!



HI ANNE-CHOICES

Thank you so much for your faith in my strength to sustain me. And it will, I swear it is so. :-)


HEY PE NOLAN-TRISH

Thanks SO much for your shared wisdom and honest supportive words to me. And I so know that there is much we cannot control - phew. You are so insightful and so honest. Thanks Trish.


Love to you all
Gail
peace......

1022 Sea Shell Ave said...

For everything has a season, these shifts bring us all together.

Gail said...

HI 1022 SEA SHELL

Together, indeed. :-)

Love Gail
peace.....

Mike Golch said...

Interesting post,sorry about the health problem that you and your sis have.

cordieb said...

I feel there will be a significant shift affecting many of us very soon. Let us be glad for shifts, for all that does not move is not alive! Peace and blessings to you and yours, C.

Teacher's Pet said...

Gail, does it help to know that you are not alone in these feelings. Hugs from one friend to another...and know that I am thinking of you and care about your feelings....all of them.
Warm hugs,
Jackie

Gail said...

HI JAKIE-

It helps SO much to know I am not alone and I truly feel that you care and it is a wonderful feeling.

HI CORDIEA B
I agree, a shift is happening and will 'complete' soon. Thank you so much for your understanding.

Hi Mike

Thanks for visiting/commenting.
Love Gail
peace...

Whitemist said...

Yep! I really understand you, very, very well.
With all that we have been through you would think one more thing would not send us spinning, but it does. Then we have to find solid ground, again!
Peace to you
Joey!

Gail said...

Hi Joey-

Thanks. I knew you would understand well about the 'shift'. Always good to see you here.

Love Gail
peace.....

Mark said...

I love how aware and excited you are about the shift that is taking place within you and around you. Thank-you so much for sharing!! Much love to you!

Gail said...

HI Mark-

I always feel safe and loved by your visit, and words of understanding. "Thank you'

Love Gail
peace.....

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souldose said...

When you feel unbalanced think of the things you love the most, your family, you writing, everything and remember that change will always happen, it's how we handle it that matters

Gail said...

HI SOULDOSE-

"thank you" for visiting and your kind words of understanding. ANd yes, Balance is the key. :-)

Love Gail
peace.....

Eileen said...

You have so much going on, Gail, it's no wonder you feel like things are in motion (they are, they always are, as you say, whether we realize it or not), but I really find this post a premonition on your part too (your email). Sometimes we feel a subtle shift around us when something is about to happen in our lives.

You obviously have a strong connection to your sister. Lovely.

Love to you,
Eileen

Gail said...

HI EILEEN-

oh my, your words are so true, so loving and real and true. oh yes, my Sis and I are bonded in ways I never knew were possible. She is going to be fine, the shift, is shifting for the better. Amen
Love to you
Gail
peace.....

Just Be Real said...

I know I enjoy my comfort zone. But at the same time, my desire to grow as an individual, then I need to step out side my zone. Thanks Gail for sharing and for your kind comments on m blog. Blessings.

Gail said...

HI JUST BE REAL-

Thank you for your kind words of understanding. And my comfort zone is shifting, a lot!! :-)
Love to you
Gail
peace.....