Monday, November 3, 2008

Auntie Botti

We all have an Auntie Botti - that unyielding force that steps up when need be to set things right. At the first sign of trouble Auntie begins the fight. It is something we just come to count on, like sunrise and sunset. My Auntie Botti got confused, lost sight of purpose and got tricked in to believing something else was true. So Auntie fought hard believing it was the right thing to do and all along Auntie was destroying what was suppose to be protected. I tried to understand why, or better said I tried to understand why not. How could life be so cruel as to take Auntie's mission of hope and deceptively turn the mission in to one of destruction. Auntie felt bad falling into this trap and was blinded by the complexity of it all. I had no choice but to become part of a plan to once again trick Auntie so the mission could once again be one of protection. People with great minds and degrees were called to task to devise a plan. I needed Auntie to work again and so I listened and followed the directives of the great minds. For a time it worked. Auntie reversed the pattern and began to fight to protect I began to relax knowing Auntie Botti was back in charge. It stayed like that for over two years. I thought, Hey, I am all set.
And then the deceivers came back, confusing Auntie again and the mission had different outcomes. There is a weakness and loss of control and inability to balance. A fatigue takes over that makes simple tasks overwhelming. I knew Auntie Botti was fighting as hard as always, only now, as before the fight was against instead of for.
And so the meeting of the great minds will ensue. Auntie Botti has to be tricked, once again, in to fighting differently - just as hard but differently. It is a tough battle for the great minds to fight. - Even tougher for the one whose Auntie has turned on them through no fault of her own. Auntie, after all, believed she was doing her job. It was the signals that were all wrong.
What new signals and stimuli will the great minds suggest this time. The same as before? A new approach? Time will tell. It is quite difficult when trust is broken because what you believed to be true and that which you could count on no longer exists. It is a deep betrayal when your Auntie turns on you, even when you know Auntie had no idea, the concept is frightening. In essence, that is the real betrayal, Auntie being tricked and not knowing. There is no one to blame or be angry with so it leaves a person with a range of emotions and no where to direct them.
The great minds will take over. It is pretty much a 'try this and that' approach, hoping that one of the this's and that's will redirect Auntie by tricking her back on the right course of action. I hope Auntie and I find our way to unison quickly this time. It is very unsettling to be at odds with one's Auntie Botti, very unsettling indeed.

Gail
peace.....

3 comments:

Fallen Angel said...

People who get tricked want to be tricked. And this 'great' mind has no idea what this is all about. By far, your most confusing post to date. And all my relatives are dead, and I never had an aunt that you describe. Share with your readers what this betrayal is.

Fallen Angel said...

If 'Auntie Botti' is indeed antibody, please tell me that you are all right

Gail said...

I am all right.