After the "Shift"

I am on the other side of the crisis - the hot piercing-excruciating pain in my knee and leg has lessened in intensity and will bear some weight without exploding like fireworks in pain. It is a long road of recovery - and a challenge to manage and navigate around the house for even the simplest of tasks like going to the bathroom, shower, and meals. Family and friends come by with prepared food and to take Gracey out for walks. I have it set so I can use my rollator to the back door, hook her on her long lead and I wait there for her and she comes back and I unhook her and she is all set. Skipp goes out and about with her in the morning and at night.

I get a bit of cabin fever being inside all the time. It is a God-send that we live in a home where every angle has a full view to the outside. Still, I need to be out on our deck even for a few minutes given the heat. I managed that today - phew. I spend a lot of time with my leg elevated and in the A/C. I am also so grateful for the view from my front picture window of our thick lovely garden filled with flowers, butterflies and humming birds. :-) I find such comfort in the view of nature and all it's gifts. It is healing.

I have missed my Mom SO much. And much to my delight my Sister surprised me and was able to get my Mom to my house last evening. Oh I was so thrilled. We hugged and cried and laughed and held hands. She is so weary and so small and fragile. We are all praying this second surgery worked - if not? Well, she is not willing to try again.................

I also was told by my neurologist that he does NOT anticipate my being able to work anymore. As much as I knew this to be true the actual words and actual notification to my employer of over a decade was very sobering to face. Another part of the "shift" that I have felt for a while now. I believe though that the "shift" has arrived - to another plateau or foundation of reality/truth upon which I will now adjust and become acclimated. I have arrived, once again. Now that I am here - well, that is yet to be determined as to what it all means. Part of me is excited by the challenge/adventure, part of me is grieving what was and part of me is relieved that I made it through this major "shift". And I still have to heal from the MS set back to fully realize and understand this part of my journey. Perhaps that is what this time is for - to set upon where the shift landed me for a time so I can feel the ground I am on - become familiar with my new surroundings/reality - discover what possibilities are available - define more fully purpose and prayer - hope and fear - strength and weakness - peace and quiet - love. I am here - healing and open to this phase of my life - after the "shift". I certainly never thought that the force of the shift would toss me around so fiercely and land me injured after the "shift". Good Lord!




Love, Gail
peace .......................