Monday, July 5, 2010

God and / or - a chair

Odd how certain 'one-liners' stick with us. It must be what we need in that moment. Perhaps at another time such one liners would just pass on by. This particular one liner answer was
"a chair".

I had received some disturbing news about my Mom - the surgery to create the site for dialysis was not successful. She has to have the surgery, again and this time they also have to use artificial materials which is even less promising. The surgery itself is a risk along with her being at square one again in the healing time necessary for the site to be usable. sigh.........I felt her heavy heart - fear and wonder, faith and courage and weariness too - as options are realized and then put aside - the battle for life forges on.

and so as I sat sharing a delicious fish and rice dinner with my son we talked, deeply about life and death and faith. I asked him, how he, who is one of agnostic beliefs, hangs on during times of fear and heartache - I asked him what does he hang on to. at first he said, "nothing really", and then he paused and said, "A chair, ya, I hang on to a chair"!! :-)

I SO loved his answer - we laughed heartily and yet as absurd as his answer was it is also quite true. He believes as he does, as do I. Regardless if I hang on to God or a chair I must hang on. My Mom is sure it is God - my son is sure it is a chair - I am going to hang on to both!!

24 comments:

PENolan said...

A chair makes perfect sense to me.

Bonnie said...

Such a tender, sweet moment between you and your son. We all hang on in our own way, don't we?
You cannot save your mother from a failing body, but you can serve her while her body is failing ... and clearly you are. You are making the time you do have together precious.

Hang on. :)

Diana said...

I really love this Gail! Regardless of what your son decides to hang onto, he has a great sense of humor! And don't tell him I said this but that is a gift from God!!
Love Di ♥

Gail said...

HI DIANA-

Oh yes, he has a great sense of humor :-) and itis a gift from HGod, for sure. He is amazing.

HI BONNIE
Oh yes, a tender sweet moment indeed. :-) And each day with my Mom is a precious gift. And I am so grateful that is has been like that for so long - way before she was ill and as far back as I can reach.

HI TRISH-
it makes perfect sense to me too..


Love to you all
Gail
peace and hope

Cinner said...

You hang onto anything you need to. I am glad you were able to have a laugh together, that means alot. Please give your Mom a big hug, I keep praying for yu and her hon. love you.

Tramp said...

Difficult times make us examine our beliefs.
Coming from England I know the situation where, when asked about religious beliefs and you shrug your shoulders you get ticked in the box "C of E" (Church of England). That was the default. Now I live in the Czech Republic, when the same question is asked and the response is also shrugged shoulders the "atheist" box is ticked.
You're quite right, we need to find something to hang on to something, it's difficult to hang on when you are shrugging your shoulders...Tramp

Diana said...

I hope this comment doesn't disappear! What I said was that it didn't matter who your son leans on. And don't tell him that I said this but I do believe that he was blessed with a great sense of humor from you know who! Love Di ♥

Gail said...

HI Trish-Bonnie-Diana

Blogger seems to have published your comments - although on my post itself it says I have "0" comments. hmmmmmmm.

Tramp said...

Gail
Something strange happening with comments today. Twice my dashboard has said I have comments and then when I went to moderate them they self-destructed.
I also sent you a commentb earlier...Tramp

Gail said...

HI DI-

Hopefully this comment will stay published. on the blog itself it still says I have only 2 comments.

HI TRAMP
so good to see you here. interesting about the boxes checked based on a shrug. huh. who knew? :-) and ya, my comments are self destructing here too. geesh

HI CINNER

ya, he is such fun and such a good person. I adore him. thanks for your continued love and prayers. wow

love to you all
gail
peace and hope.....

SE'LAH... said...

Oh Gail. What a touching post.

Sending you, and yours, lots of positive vibes. May flowers line your path today.

one love.

Wonderingsoul said...

I'm so sorry to hear that your mum's fight must continue in this way Gail... How harrowing for you all.
I loved the chair answer! I loved it that you all ended up in beautiful laughter. It feels precious.

x

Gail said...

HI WONDERINGSOUL-

I am so very happy to see you. :-)

Abd oh yes, the chair answer is one for the books, as they say! My boy is so wonderful and we laugh at life together - good for the soul, ya know?

HI SELAH-

what a lovely sentiment - for flowers tolinemy path. Oh how delightful. "thank you" for all the love you bring - it is abundant!! And it feels wonderful

Love to you both
Gail
peace and hope.....

Bernie said...

Gail, sorry to hear about your mother, I do hope she is a bit better now.
Still smiling at your son's answer, I like to think that God provided someone with the skill to build that chair......we all find our niche and fit it with the world around us......I could never judge, I only know what works for me.........keeping you all in my heart and prayers......:-)Hugs

Iktomi said...

:) that made me smile. we all have faith in something, whether it be a god or destiny or the innate goodness of the earth or "a chair." :)

Gail said...

HI IKTOMI-

SO nice ot see you. Hope all is well with you and yours. And my son is a wonderful,kind and loving man, decent and life-giving. The chair works fine for hgim. :-)

HI BERNIE-

I so appreciate your love and prayers. He surgery is Wednesday, 8:30. God be with her. My son is a delightful loving young man with a great sense of humor and honor. I know you are not one to judge and I love you for that so much.

Love to you both
Gail;
peace and hope.....

Wanda said...

Hope your mom's surgery was successful this morning, Gail.
My thoughts are with you!
♥...Wanda

Gail said...

HI WANDA_

All went well - hoping that it continues to flourish and heal - she is in the hospital - staying at least the night and will come home once she is stable and so forth. thank you for oyur continued prayers.

Love to you
Gail
peace and hope.....

SE'LAH... said...

Oh Gail,

the prayer flags are not completely covered in beads...but selected beads adorn them ;)

Gail said...

HI SELAH

Oh the prayer flags sound lovely. :-)

Love to you
Gail
peace and hope.....

Shen said...

Despite the solemn nature of this post, you made me smile, Gail.

I think a lot of young people who are agnostic and even atheist get to a point in their lives where they find spirituality. It may not be in the way you would define God, but they find their own answers.

My sister was always atheistic... she said she was agnostic, but she also said she doubted there was a God.

Well... my sister turned sixty this year. In the last few years we have had some of those deep conversations you describe and I have learned that she is hanging on to more than a chair these days. She has a deep spiritual connection and a strong sense of something more that just what we see in the here and now.

One way or another, we all find the way that works for us - and for some what works is staying completely on this plane, with this reality before us. I personally believe there is a reason for all of it, even for not believing.

I'm glad your mother has faith. There are so many hard parts to the later times of life, and feeling this world slip away must really make it intensely obvious how wonderful it is.

But I also believe there is more to come... and your mother believes it too. As hard as it is to suffer the pain of hanging on, she knows that it isn't forever and that what is to come is as sweet as anything she has known in the here and now.

Peace

Mark said...

In the end they both may be very right.
Blessings to your mom and your family!

Gail said...

Hi Mark-

I believe that too. So nice to see you, as always.

Love to you my friend
Gail
peace and hope.....

Gail said...

HI SHEN-
I truly loved rading your beautiful, honest and kind comment to me. And I am glad this writing made you smile, :-) I cluing to your every word ans you write from your heart and It means so much to me. I so appreciate the story of your sister and her faith's journey and for 'seeing' so well my Mom's strong faith. Hallelujah.

Love to you and all that you are
Gail
peace and hope.....