Thursday, July 16, 2009
These are some of our guests for breakfast each morning. They wait patiently for their meal to be served. The finches are all set since their food is in their feeder. The others wait for me to get up and serve them. I love it!!
I love the predictability of their arrival each day. I find it comforting, secure, and without pretense. They show up as is, and partake of the meal set out for them. I don't need to fuss or dress up or even comb my hair - I sit at the table in my jammies, sipping hot coffee and watch my guests enjoy themselves. Sometimes they quibble over a peanut or dried berry - no different than us humans wanting the cheese that slid off our slice of pizza and was left behind in the box. I am quite territorial over such things. :-)
I love to entertain. And these guests are delightful.
Over the years so many have sat at our table and enjoyed a meal and some wine and good conversation. As my life continues to redefine I am remembering so many faces, hearts, spirits, laughs, tears, holidays and celebrations and a squabble or two. Hi-chairs and booster seats, stools, chairs and upholstered benches that supported many a behind - round tables and harvest tables and picnic tables covered in dinnerware and deep blue glasses and sippy cups and plastic bowls and crystal stem ware and gold plated flatware and airplane shaped forks and plastic utensils and cloth napkins and paper napkins and sometimes paper towels and bibs and salt and pepper shakers and old hand me down bowls and corning ware dishes filled with foods all prepared with love and just the right seasonings. Oh yes, many many people have 'broken bread' with us. And as my Dad would say, "If you leave this house hungry or sober it's your own damn fault"!!!!! :-)
I am a bit nostalgic today. I had my appointment with my neurologist. I am pleased. Odd word to use because I am talking about letting go of my life's work - at least in how I was able to perform it for over 20 years. As harsh a reality as this is I am relieved I know. He asked some finite questions which had defined conclusions. I have been hanging on to the hope that my symptoms were going to improve - and therefore I would be able to perform my job. Not the case - where I am at is just that - where I am at - I can manage this - I can remain independent - I can be true to my limits and enjoy my freedoms. Pushing myself to perform beyond my ability will further lessen the quality of my life. Again, I am glad I know. Next month is more tests and collecting "hard data" to support my managing my health. I see him again, mid-September to conclude and define. The hand writing is on the wall - as the saying goes.
So what does this have to do with breakfast with my wild life fiends, or nostalgia for the many meals shared for many reasons - it is quite simple actually - I am hanging on to what is mine from days gone by and days ahead. I am cushioned nicely in between. Oh there will be many meals and celebrations in our home with family and friends - and there will be many breakfasts with my wild life friends - so as much as so much has changed - so much is still the same. I am moving along the spectrum savoring every moment albeit it harsh or freeing - it is life, my life....
Posted by Gail at 10:39 AM