No one sings "RESPECT" like Aretha. SO here she is. Turn up your volume and sing along.
'Respect - quite a subjective word don't you think? I hear it used, over used, a reason for retaliation or defense, -people say that they want to be respected and then another will say in response, 'you can't get respect if you don't give respect! What? How does that all work? Is my self-respect contingent upon another person respecting me? Geeze, I hope not. But somehow it is all immersed, tangled up in justifications for how we treat each other. It is why we stay or leave a relationship, albeit personal, intimate, work, business - it's all about respect. I find myself right in the middle of lost respect for someone. The word and how it has manifested is way bigger than I ever imagined. I don't respect this person's style, treatment of others, labels and blaming, misuse of power.........it has all festered up like a big ole boil! Oozed and now is just a sort of gaping hole. I/we have filled it with a few good things, humor and laughs and sacred history, but the other stuff that oozed out left too big of a hole to fill. And my position of "silent witness" leaves me being the only one who knows. So it is like a big ole festered up oozing boil that is a freaking secret! Loving, yes, but a secret too that is haunting and dark.
Is this really about respect? Could that be possible? I mean, who am Ito say what is respectful verses not. Wait, I have every right to decide that for myself. I do have the right, no, the responsibility to NOT take part in actions that are hurtful and dehumanizing and offensive and life-sucking and blame full and on and on.....that violates my spirit and therefore is disrespectful. And I don't have to explain it or defend it. Silent witness IS loving and kind. And I know that what happens to one of us directly happens to all of us indirectly.
I would SO appreciate your thoughts on "respect".....
Respectfully,
Gail
peace......
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
This is from my second blog-land friend ever and her blog, "Menopausal Stoners" is worth a visit. Thanks Trish
This is STILL a forum about truth and not needing to hide or run from reality/truth. With hope and faith and determination, humor, music and love and some wine people will find freedom and strength as they see how I/we are setting the stage for our "ACT THREE" . Act one and two were amazing - and here we are, our "ACT THREE". We are ready..... fighting for freedom every day from the shackles of MS
This is from my second blog-land friend ever and her blog, "Menopausal Stoners" is worth a visit. Thanks Trish
THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE, I PROMISE YOU.
Let's stand tall together and vow never to run or hide again. This is a peaceful gathering place of personal power, freedom and independence.."ACT THREE" is for the strong willed survivors who love hard, face life as it happens, laugh, sing, dance, share, and remember always that kindness really does matter
11 comments:
I respect the "truth." I know that even truth is a subjective thing. But my friend who got the bad news about lung cancer emailed me today and asked me to call another of our friends and not tell her the truth. I can't lie, even for a friend, especially to a friend. So I called the friend and told her the truth and told her I was asked not to tell the truth. Now she pissed at me for doing both, and doesn't understand why Z would ask me to lie to her about Z's disastrous health news. It's a lose lose situation. I am now slipping into depression and I worry that I'm losing the few friends I had over this need I have to tell the truth no matter how awful the truth is nor how much it hurts to hear the truth. The truth may be that I am just an asshole, and not deserving either respect or friendship.
And you are right. Nobody sings that song like Aretha. And I've never known a man to respect me. So now I live without the love of a man. But what is love if it doesn't include respect? And without truth how can there be respect?
Hi Utah-
I am SO glad to see you hear and I so appreciate your words of truth, as difficult as the truth is to hear/read.
You are so right about respect and love requiring truth. That one line you wrote summed it all up - and truth is personal/subjective as you also wrote -
I hope your ill friend comes to understand your intent and decision not to lie.
life is complicated sometime, huh?
love to you
Gail
peace.....
Funny, I just said something about Areatha over at my blog too. Must be something in the air.
"Seek first to understand........."
And yet, maybe there is no understanding.....
Good luck....
Hi Giggles-
and yes, I have been seeking understanding and you are SO right. There is none. I understand that there is no way I can shed a new light of love on this situation other than to be silent and kind......this I know is true.
Love to you
Gail
peace...
Hi Gail,
R-E-S-P-E-C-T!
If I get what you are saying, it's how do I respect this?! There is only one person you ever need be concerned about respecting and that person is you. And as you respect yourself, you respect everybody else, maybe not their words or actions, but them (the real them). When I truly respect myself, and love myself, I must totally ignore anything that isn't good for me. And a big oozing boil certainly falls under the description of not good for me. Big oozing boils are all over, this one just happens to be close to you.
I always wondered why when I caught a glimpse of someone considered to be "enlightened" why they looked down with not much expression. I now know that they are in a position of humility where they won't allow themselves to be pulled into any thoughts or emotions that are not for them.
I have also found that if I just can't ignore then I have some questions to ask myself so that I can become free. I wrote a blog post about this at http://tinyurl.com/nh2x8a
I know you are working out something valuable with all of this. I am with you my dear friend.
Hi ANne-
your wonderful words ring so true - "thank you". and yes, I am working through something and it is valuable - and ANn - the "face of humility" of which you wrote!!!?? that is so lovely to image - oh so many would say it is a position of shame or weakness - when, it is a position of humble courage. amazing, truly amazing.
love to you my friend
Gail
peace....
Good post - Respect, everyone knows what it is, however very few can define it. This is because respect is very individual, what is means to me is not what it may mean to you. We must respect our self first, we must know are boundaries of what is and is not acceptable. We must understand what another persons view of respect is and try to abide by that. Do no harm in our thoughts, words or actions and we will find it difficult to cause any disrespect.
Mark-
well said - your comment is "right on".
always nice to 'see you'.
love gail
peace.....
Respect:
I think we have to learn to love and respect ourselves fully, and that when we arrive in that true authentic place, we are able to have respect for another's path, even though their behavior may irk us. Whose to say this person isn't moments away from death or enlightenment. I think the best we can do is love/respect ourselves, and not react too much to another's behavior, even though it is painful.
And if it gets to the point where self-preservation is an issue, maybe it is time for a change...
Thems my thoughts.
Fabulous thought-provoking post, Gail!
Molly-
thanks SO much for your shared insights.Everything you wrote is quite true. The "twist" on this is that there is a 'dual' relationship and the behaviors are crossing over. Although, it all seems quite clear, regardless.
thank you for your kind support.
love to you
Gail
peace.....
Post a Comment