Julie Andrews and Gapetto

Change is difficult. No news flash there, huh? I am no longer feeling confident with my neurologist. Well, actually she is an APRN. My neurologist left the practice in September. I had the utmost confidence in him. The APRN, not so much. She is a 'Sally-social-worked-type', thin, short cropped hair, always neatly groomed, glasses, she wears navy blue monogrammed sweaters and gray slacks and always a white shirt perfectly showing around the neck and sleeves. She wears black pumps, no make-up or jewelery, and because she is so tiny her clothes never have even a wrinkle or crease. WTF? I, being of the more robust body type, always seem to have a wrinkle or bulge or pull some where on my clothes. Whatever. My long wavy hair is always wild by the time I arrive in her office, having treked across a windy, open parking garage. Comparatively, I look like I have been on the back of a motorcyclel following a wild-ride with Charles Bronson, and she appears like Julie Andrews in the Sound Of music. So right from the "get-go" we are quite the opposite. And she looks at me weird.

The bigger issue is that she is married to the head neurologist. He is a tiny man, most likely has a Napoleon complex and never smiles. He looks like Gapetto. He is pushing her to push me to change medications. My neurologist never did that. He said the three offered are all the same. I am wondering if they have a 'connection' to this one particular pharmaceutical company. Also, every time I have an appointment she does practically a complete physical. WTF? I half expect her to haul out a mammogram machine and toss up some stirrups for a PAP smear. It is just all quite over invasive. She also doesn't listen well, or remember well. I have to re-explain my symptoms again and again. She did agree and encourage a reduced work schedule, adjustment. It was a very difficult acceptance for me. She didn't get that at all. I was quite unsettled hearing my limits said back to me. It is one thing to say whatever about yourself and quite another to have someone mirror it all back to you. She didn't get it at all. She was also focused on my having another MRI. My neurologist saw no need to repeat a test that is diagnostic. I am already diagnosed. Any findings wont change the course of treatment so why should I be put through a contrast MRI of my brain, again? She said that her husband, 'Napoleon complex Gapetto, insisted that I have another MRI and that it was not up to me!!! WTF? Apparently, they chat about cases while relaxing at home eating their bean sprouts, sipping Evian water while listening to Bach. I am quite sure there is no wild sex. I can just tell.

Throw in her insisting that I am depressed - that was the final straw. She said, "I think you are depressed." I asked, "why is that?" She rambled on a bit about my fatigue, which by the way is one of the major symptoms to manage for M S. Anyway, I know enough about depression to know that I am not depressed, so I said, "look, my appetite is the same, I sleep well and I love to have wild sex!!". She chuckled a nervous embarrassed type of chuckle and backed down. WTF?

I knew when I left that I was done with Julie Andrews and Gapetto! The search for a new neurologist will commence soon. Change is difficult and yet exciting, even hopeful.

The brain is a complete mystery.

Gail
peace......