Tuesday, September 9, 2008


What the hell is normal? It is unique and ever-changing for each of us and it is always defended even in the most horrid situations; as in, I have a right to be/do_______________just fill in the blank(s) reader.
It also seems that one's defense of normal gets stronger and quite purposeful when one believes that an action is considered or understood to be 'the norm'. . Killing? In War? - Normal. Capital punishment? Normal. Various religious traditions? Normal. Diverse cultural values? Normal. Individual family and house rules? Normal. Sexual preferences and practices? Normal. Every aspect of how we chose to live our lives as part of a collective society has 'norms'. It is within individuals, raised in these 'beat me to death with your societal norms', norms, that people are seen as abnormal AND the abnormal know it is true. Which brings us to the "abnorma/normal" - consisting of some frowned upon, hated, rejected, despised and misunderstood 'condition - experience- action-style-look-ideal- what have you, - that separates people from other people based on societal norms and then those ostracised find each other, in the abnormal/normal places of our worlds.
There are prisons for the abnormal/normal, and hospitals, institutions, churches and church basements, therapist's offices, alleyways, groups, gangs, blogs, websites, caves, schools, cults, books, music, theater, porn, segregated classrooms, Special Olympics, and the list could go on forever.
Let's narrow it down some. I, like you, have a sense of my normal, which is pretty abnormal for anyone else. I also know when my normal, or abnormal/normal is even more abnormal, and therefore not normal, for me. That was a mouthful - re-read it a few times. For example, I told someone recently that I have a stuffed animal that Daniel gave me, (for those following my posts you know who Daniel is), anyway, he was amazed that I had anything from Daniel still and said I should just burn it. His reaction was his normal. My having the stuffed animal makes sense regardless of how I got it and why. Actually, because of how I got it and why. That stuffed animal is a reminder of what was and what I will never allow to 'be' again. Normal/abnormal? I think so.
Still, my abnormal/normal which is normal for me, is, as I have said, unsettled. I am trying to get back to my 'abnormal/normal.' Which, by the way, I think is perfectly normal. I pretty much know I have to "talk to someone". I have gotten some 'therapeutic tune-ups' over the years, - maybe six to eight visits and I am back to my wonderful 'abnormal/normal' self. I was given some really good advice, and that was not to let my therapist "get in to my pants". I agreed. And, just because I did that once with Daniel, the priest-therapist doesn't mean fucking my therapists(s) is a norm for me now. Yeesh!
I have until Thursday to mull over who. There are two choices on the table. I know which way I hope it will go. But that could just be me being completely more abnormally/normal than usual.
Until Thursday, I remain, unusually more abnormal/normal than usual.
To all of our 'norms' and to the abnormal/normal in us all - I say, "What the fuck?"


Comrade Kevin said...


Thanks for the compliment over at my site. I appreciate it. :) And I'm also grateful whenever anyone calls me cute--sometimes I feel it, often I don't.

As for the normal/abnormal divide I long accepted the fact that I was certainly different. For a time I wore that as a badge. Now I worry less about what people think about me or think is "normal".

Comrade Kevin said...

long ago accepted, I mean. Gah.

Gail said...

Comrade Kevin -
welcome, welcome........and I had written to you via Menopausal Stoner once and I think it got lost in the blog archives. I told you that I like your spirit and that I found you very easy to absorb, something like that.
And wearing the abnnormal badge? I know it well. I was in groups, on Geraldo, and quite verbal. For years, I fell silent and surrendered, but a short while ago I erupted and voila! I am working on settling back down to my normal abnormal self.

I LOVE that YOU stopped by.