Saturday, October 3, 2009

Hangovers of a good sort

(Sexual content warning for those who may not want to read on)

It is a rainy Saturday here in southern New England. I am enjoying the day immensely. I feel light - unburdened - and calm. We did a lot of laughing yesterday and it was so good for our souls I can still feel the wonderful effects of our hearty laughter today. I think I will call it a laughter hangover - :-) One of the best kind of hangovers to have........

Let's delve in to something, shall we say, more personal. Oh I know folks shy away from such topics - all of it being so taboo and all - but it is as natural as breathing - we all have done it, still do it if were lucky, have our preferences and style and can have a hangover of a different sort the next day as wondrous and satisfying as the laughter hangover mentioned above. The day after, Skipp and I call each other all day just to even breathe on the phone together - I feel him all day and it is SO beautiful. I wear a smile that goes ear to ear and I am proud to do so. He will tell me that he swears his staff looks at him differently at work as if they "know". Maybe they do because such happiness and satisfaction and love is hard to hide. :-)

October, as you all know, holds many memories and since many are intertwined with sexual abuse it is a no wonder that for a time I felt "dirty" for having any sexual feelings and or exploring them. So to be able to write what I just wrote is all part of my healing, freedom and empowerment as a woman. SO eehah!!!!!! I had no idea who I was as a 'sexual being'. It is so individual and personal and vast and influenced by so many factors - some of which are hard to discern - we each have our own views and desires and expressions of who we are as sexual beings. And just so you know? It is NOT only about the "act" - far from it. For example, may I offer this explanation - in question form first.

1- what is sex
2- what is sexual
3- what is sexuality

sex is if we are male or female,
sexual is if we are masculine or feminine
sexuality is how we express our masculine and or feminine selves as in style of clothes, hair, body language and the like.

So, you see? It is not the act of physical intimacy that defines who we are as sexual beings - of course it is a part of it - hopefully the "crem'de la crem" so to speak!!!! :-) heehee but you get my drift, right?

I, for one, am just so glad that I can "be" me in all areas of my life as a vibrant woman in full awareness of my senses and intimate desires. I consider myself to be heterosexual. I also can look at a woman and find her quite attractive and a person I admire - physical attraction is not gender specific for me. Sexual partnering is. Before I embarked upon my healing journey I could not figure out any of my sexual feelings/thoughts - I would feel ashamed for even having them - nor did I have any idea how to express myself as a sexual being. I was quite awkward and out of tune. Not anymore!! Alleluia!! :-)

So as I celebrate my self awareness this October, which, for anyone who understands what a challenge it is to become alive sexually and feel free, safe and empowered if your earliest influence was abuse-----------this truly is a celebration of self - clarity - truth - hope - and rights embraced.

this is hysterical, I think :-)

Love Gail
peace and ............................................


JackiesMagic said...

Ok... So, here's why I call myself as the spiritual, sensual, soulful, scribe. I have come to terms with my true nature as a spiritual & sexual being. I believe that there is no SIN in sensuality.. and I've even made money doing 'those' parties. Teaching women that it's ok to want, and love to have sex.. for PLEASURE! Dolphins and Humans are the only creatures on this planet that do! LOL

You must know... I was very reluctant to listen to & watch that Engelbert Humperdink video. Yikes! Who? But I did. Oh my! LOL I couldn't listen.. for lookin'.. That gorgeous head of hair! That shirt! His glistening sweaty chest with that big ole rugged cross! ???

I figure.. if David Letterman (Double Yikes!) has had sex with women on his staff.. Engelbert wasn't missing gettin' any lovin' backstage, either! You think?

Andy said...

Good for you, Gail. It must be nice to have lost the feeling of it all being dirty.

Gail said...

Hi Amdy-

and if I do feel a little "dirty", I love it now!! :-)

So nice to see you.

Love Gail

Gail said...

No sin at all - God made us to enjoy our bodies too so long as it is with respect, consent, and truth.

I didn't know that about dolphins and humans alike., huh.

He is nice to look at and remember, that was from 1982!!!

So nice to see you - and I have to ad another video to my post, hysterical. It is called "Turtle Sex". It might disprove your notion that only humans and dolphins enjoy sex. heehee

Love to you

Whitemist said...

Good to see you accept that side, so many can not and especially with the things you have gone through.
It is sometimes a bit strange for myself because that seems to be absent in my life. Not because of choice or fear, but because.
The only thing I can say is the "because" has allowed me to have some extremely close "lovers of my soul and spirit" and friends who are female which I might have missed otherwise.
I am mostly okay with it and that is good.

Gail said...


I so enjoy your shared wisdom. I understand so well how important intimacy is with close friends. And I too had a time where I had soul - lovers "because". and it was good -
Love to you

Eileen said...

I wonder if the turtle was walking around with a smile on his face too all the next day?!

So glad you could dump all the bad and get to a place of joy, and fulfillment, and completion. There's almost no better feeling than when a relationship is rewarding in every aspect.

And I feel the same way about attractive people, men or women, it's just an appreciation for God's beauty, it has little to do with sexual attraction.
I was on a Nun's blog once and they asked other nuns to complete this sentence ~ "You know you're a nun when..."
And one of the nuns completed it by saying, "...when you see an attractive guy and you say to yourself that God revealed His Beauty well in that guy and then you move on."
But I think that's how a lot of us are. We can appreciate God's Beauty in others without it having anything to with sexual attraction.

Thanks for sharing!
Keep enjoying one of God's Great Gifts!

Diana said...

Man those turtles got it goin' on!
I don't feel like I have much sexuality since I had a hysterectomy five years ago. It kind of took a lot away. It affected my body in so many ways, I had no idea.
Love Di

Gail said...


Hi there - thank you much for your fun and kind words to me. I wasn't sure how this writing would be received. So far, so good. :-)
The nun story was hysterical.

Here's to all the smiling people and turtles!! :-)

Love Gail


Thanks for your sharing about yourself. I understand what you are saying about how your body has changed after the hysterectomy.

And I am glad you found the humor in the turtles. :-) I thought it was hysterical. Laugh out loud hysterical. heeheehahaheheeheehahaheeheehahaha

Love to you

Rose Marie Raccioppi said...

"SO eehah!!!!!!...Alleluia!! :-)"

Well that about sums it all! The passion shared, the passion fulfilled, the passion... the passion... the passion... have no less, do no less, be no less! God gave it - we share it!!

Margie said...

I applaud you, Gail!
Bravo to you!
You truly have something to celebrate!
You and your husband are very lucky to share such beauty in your lives!

Never seen anything like that the turtle video...LOL!

Wishing you much joy, peace and love in your lfe.


Gail said...


Thank you SO much. And I know you understand because your poetry honors and reflects such a love, as well.

AND I am SO glad you found the turtle video fun. :-0

LOve to you

Gail said...


And I know you know well, of the passion and celebration of passions. It is in every word you write. Ah to share such is beyond miraculous.

"Thank you" for being you.

Love Gail

Choices said...

Hi Gail,
You sure do have something to celebrate. It is wonderful that and your husband have each other to share your love. It is certainly beautiful when we can share our love with someone special.
Wishing you peace and love always.
Take care.

Gail said...

"thank you" for your kind and loving words to me. ANd yes, we are so very blessed to have found one another - we both 'paid our dues' in earlier relationships so we really feel so fortunate to live in love.

Love Gail

Wanda said...

Hi Gail...nice to know turtles are funny...I watched another one on display along with the one you featured...The male actually used his shell to strike her shell rather sharply...I have not come across this scene yet with all my turtle sightings, but will be on the lookout.
Happy that you rose above an awful experience and met someone to trust, love and share your life with in every way and still glow the next day!

Still Smiling,

Megan "JoyGirl!" Bord said...

I absolutely loved this post and was glad to read it. We don't talk about sex enough... In a loving way, that is. Yeah sure, there is an entire industry dedicated to it, but not in the same sense that you described. What are we so afraid of? If God didn't mean for us to have and enjoy sex, our bodies would be wired much differently.
I applaud you for your freedom, courage and enjoyment of what I consider to be the best past-time on earth (forget baseball or football!).
Now as for that turtle video --- at least he lasted as long as he did. That looked pretty intense for the little fella! (smile)
Have a wonderful week, Gail, and thanks for doing all of us proud!

Teacher's Pet said...

Hi Gail...
I'm so happy that you and your husband are happily in love...
Your post exhudes that happiness.
Smiles to you from Jackie

cordieb said...

Hello Gail. First, I must say this is a most truthful and beautiful post. Seems I'm healing as you heal; and I thank you for that. Also, I really could relate to that turtle on the bottom, LoL... Poor turtle, poor me. Thank God, I'm blessed to know it's not always like that! PLL, C.

Gail said...


Thanks for your validating words. And yes, we are thankfully quite in love. :-)

Love Gail


You are SO right - we don't talk/share enough about this wonderful part of our love and humanity. :-) And I am so glad you got a kick out of those turtles. :-)

Love Gail

I am so glad you too found the fun in the turtle video. When you have posted pictures of all those turtles about your nature-land I would be having my own private chuckle over here imagining the video. :-)
Love Gail

Gail said...


The female turtle in that video looks quite bored!! :-)

And yes, you are reading the 'truth', about my healing journey - which I embarked upon about 20 years ago - and other than a "few tune-ups" over the years I have been empowered and whole ever since. Learning how to "be" a whole person took it's own time as well - make sense?

Love Gail

Mark said...

Love this post! Yes, we are sexual beings and this is part of our wonder and of our joy! No shame in being! Glad to hear that you are exploring all of who you are!
Love the turtles, funny!

Gail said...

Hi MArk-

So nice to see you - and also so nice to hear your wisdom -
and ya, the turtles? hysterical.!!! :-)

Love Gail