Hangovers of a good sort

(Sexual content warning for those who may not want to read on)






It is a rainy Saturday here in southern New England. I am enjoying the day immensely. I feel light - unburdened - and calm. We did a lot of laughing yesterday and it was so good for our souls I can still feel the wonderful effects of our hearty laughter today. I think I will call it a laughter hangover - :-) One of the best kind of hangovers to have........

Let's delve in to something, shall we say, more personal. Oh I know folks shy away from such topics - all of it being so taboo and all - but it is as natural as breathing - we all have done it, still do it if were lucky, have our preferences and style and can have a hangover of a different sort the next day as wondrous and satisfying as the laughter hangover mentioned above. The day after, Skipp and I call each other all day just to even breathe on the phone together - I feel him all day and it is SO beautiful. I wear a smile that goes ear to ear and I am proud to do so. He will tell me that he swears his staff looks at him differently at work as if they "know". Maybe they do because such happiness and satisfaction and love is hard to hide. :-)

October, as you all know, holds many memories and since many are intertwined with sexual abuse it is a no wonder that for a time I felt "dirty" for having any sexual feelings and or exploring them. So to be able to write what I just wrote is all part of my healing, freedom and empowerment as a woman. SO eehah!!!!!! I had no idea who I was as a 'sexual being'. It is so individual and personal and vast and influenced by so many factors - some of which are hard to discern - we each have our own views and desires and expressions of who we are as sexual beings. And just so you know? It is NOT only about the "act" - far from it. For example, may I offer this explanation - in question form first.

1- what is sex
2- what is sexual
3- what is sexuality

sex is if we are male or female,
sexual is if we are masculine or feminine
sexuality is how we express our masculine and or feminine selves as in style of clothes, hair, body language and the like.

So, you see? It is not the act of physical intimacy that defines who we are as sexual beings - of course it is a part of it - hopefully the "crem'de la crem" so to speak!!!! :-) heehee but you get my drift, right?

I, for one, am just so glad that I can "be" me in all areas of my life as a vibrant woman in full awareness of my senses and intimate desires. I consider myself to be heterosexual. I also can look at a woman and find her quite attractive and a person I admire - physical attraction is not gender specific for me. Sexual partnering is. Before I embarked upon my healing journey I could not figure out any of my sexual feelings/thoughts - I would feel ashamed for even having them - nor did I have any idea how to express myself as a sexual being. I was quite awkward and out of tune. Not anymore!! Alleluia!! :-)

So as I celebrate my self awareness this October, which, for anyone who understands what a challenge it is to become alive sexually and feel free, safe and empowered if your earliest influence was abuse-----------this truly is a celebration of self - clarity - truth - hope - and rights embraced.




















this is hysterical, I think :-)


Love Gail
peace and ............................................