Thursday, April 12, 2012

looking down is to be ashamed or despairing - to look straight ahead is to be of courage and to look up is to be of faith

As I walked in to my Mom's home today I was taken back at how I 'saw her', it was so quiet, and stifling hot, her head was down, her chin almost on her chest, her glance when she heard me was one of sadness, blunted in affect,  as if lost.  I was paralyzed for a moment as the depth of her demeanor settled in to my heart and spirit - I felt heavy - scared - painfully aware.  I said "Hi Mom"  She looked up and appeared startled - and said "oh, you're here, I didn't know you were coming."  (we had spoken that morning about my bringing lunch).  I softly said, "well than it's a good surprise" - and she smiled.

and she is, still, so beautiful.

And so I shared with her, that to look down is a place of despair, to look ahead is a place of courage and to look up is a place of faith.  She felt comfort tn these words - I felt I helped, in a small way, I helped.  I feel and I know of her distance - she is quiet and sad - at times surrendered with moments of strength and hope.  Her eyes although bright blue are shadowed and gray in hue.  I feel too and most importantly the love in her heart.  It surges up and out and through the shadows, travels the distance with a genuine and natural flow - I embrace it - I embrace her - with all my might.


16 comments:

'A Madeleines Photos and Parchments' said...

This is so beautifully written and full of feeling. It brought tears to my eyes and I whispered a prayer for you and yours.
May God be a real comfort to all of you.
Love Madeleine

Lola said...

Hi Gail,
thanks for sharing this.

and... I embrace YOU.

Jane said...

Incredibly moving Gail - a very beautiful tribute to your mom. The time to truly appreciate our loved ones is now, while we still have them in our lives.

Gail said...

@MADELINE - thank you for your loving words and prayer.

@LOLA - thanks for taking the time

@JANE - thanks for sharing in this love

love to you all
Gail
peace.....

Rhonda said...

Very touching...straight to the heart..I like to think that when I look up ... I'm looking straight into the face of all answers and power, Jesus my Lord and Saviour!
Enjoyed your post you have a new follower ....

http://joybug56-denimlace.blogspot.com/

Gail said...

HI RHONDA - so nice to "meet you" and I am honored that you like my blog and are a follower. :-) Looking forward to getting to know one another.
Love Gail
peace....

Amanda said...

This is so hard to read, yet your words of love pour into this post. Your heart is so clear and I'm grateful that you've shared this, for sharing your heart.

Sending you love and many hugs,
Amanda

Gail said...

HI AMANDA - Thanks SO much - and I knew you would feel the depth of my heart's love in this post.
Love to you
Gail
peace...

Theanne said...

a lovely post Gail...I find myself at times feeling like your Mom...since Don is gone (home to God) my soul is gripped by sadness! Sometimes it is a struggle to move forward day by day!

lovely words for your Mom...and me!

Gail said...

THEANNE - oh my, "thank you" for sharing of your struggle. I so enjoy your posts and your world, still of love and hope. You give me hope.
Love Gail
peace.....

Kim @ Stuff could... said...

I hope your Mom gets better! My Dad is a lot like your Mom...

Gail said...

HI KIM - thanks,me too. Her illness is chronic and progressing. She remains brave and of faith.
Love to you and prayers for your Dad
Love Gail
peace...

Diana said...

I'm sure your mom feels all of that love you have for her Gail. What you told her was perfect, for all of us really! Love Di ♥

Gail said...

HI DI - thanks SO much, I know how well you understand and that means a lot to me
Love to you my friend
Gail
peace.....

Just Be Real said...

That is one thing I am improving on is looking straight ahead. I still find myself though at times looking down or away when I am embarrassed or shameful. So appreciate you sharing Gail. Your feelings are displayed real. Your tribute is touching. Hugs to you.

Gail said...

HI JBR - thanks SO much. I so appreciate your realness too. We are kindred spirits on many levels.
Love Gail
peace....