Monday, May 2, 2011


It's been a while since I have posted.  Partly because my life is so different in the best of ways because Skipp is  not working and therefore home with me.  We love being together - each day an adventure of simple pleasures, blessings, gratitude, laughter, music, shared meals and kindness.  Of course, everything has a price - and we are concerned about our finances and very concerned about health insurance.  We have applications in process and still have another month of 100% coverage while we explore options. And come November I am eligible for MediCare because I am on disability and Skipp can continue on whatever insurance we get until he has employment with benefits.  Phew.

Also, I had a minor setback with the MS where I had extreme weakness in my bad leg (the right one) and I have had to 'beef up' my toning and strengthening and also elevation of the leg so to improve and to avoid IV steroids!! Slowly, it is coming back to my abnormal-normal.   And, I have done something to the upper muscles in both arms, - I believe due to the extra strain of compensating for the weakness in my leg.  I am going to the doctor tomorrow for that.  Geesh.

I wanted to put some thoughts out about patience and tolerance and hopefully hear back from you about your understanding of these words.  I wrote on Face Book that I believe ..........."patience is when you are waiting/hoping for something/someone to change and tolerance is when you accept 'whatever as it is and whomever just as they are." Thoughts? As I delve even deeper patience can actually appear righteous if I am waiting for someone to 'come around to my way of thinking because I believe I am more right!!.  And that whomever will 'see the light' as I do.  Oh my.  Patience is also a gift to one's self and to another if we are quietly supportive while some one else finds their way, reaches their goal or resolves a problem.  Patience has many faces.  Tolerance has only one face,  - that of acceptance - regardless of how different or odd whatever//whomever may seem - some things are not for us to decide - only to accept.  Of course I am NOT speaking about evil or acts against humanity or hate crimes and so forth.  puh-lease! I/you/we have every right to rise up against such injustice.  Tolerance, for this writing is about people living their lives, being who they are, believing as they do for the greater good.  

Patience? Tolerance?  What do you think?


Grizz………… said...

Patience is to wait with equanimity. To be calm and even tempered, relaxed while waiting. You may be waiting with hope, belief, or mere curiosity. You might wait not expecting or being concerned about a particular outcome—just waiting to see what, if anything, happens. But a patient wait is a wait without any sort of stress or nervousness; a wait which doesn't look as though you're waiting.

Patience can also mean to put up with something without getting angry. If you're trying to teach someone something, and they keep having difficulties learning…patience is NOT blowing up like Donald Duck or whacking them over the head with a two-by-four.

Patience in both these forms is a virtue, and will generally make your life far easier.

Tolerance is being willing and able to allow something to occur which you don't like or agree with. When picking blackberries, you tolerate a few scratches in order to get your berries. When you get sick, you tolerate all the doctors twisting and thumping your body parts, sticking you with needles, probing various orifices, having you take pills and foul-tasting liquids, etc. all because you want to get well, to be cured, to feel better. We can go on a company picnic with people of different religious faiths—or even no faith—yet eat our meal and have a fun day because we tolerate.

Tolerate means "put up with." It doesn't necessarily mean we someday expect the other side to change. It doesn't necessarily mean what we're tolerating is a bad, or evil thing. I might like bluegrass music while you're into hip-hop. We can still go fishing together and depending on whose driving, tolerate the pick of radion stations.

Of course what we're tolerating can be—bad or evil, illegal, something we would never do, a belief we'd never hold. We don't accept it, but we tolerate it…usually out of fear or love or keeping the peace. We don't want to cause dissension, hurt someone's feelings, get fired, make our neighbor angry, be left alone, etc. Family relationships often manage to exist only through toleration.

When you say "patience can actually appear righteous if I am waiting for someone to 'come around' to my way of thinking," I think that's really more an example of patient tolerance. Patience implies an expected change; tolerance does not. Tolerance is facing the status quo and saying I'll not make an issue.

At least that's my long-winded take, Gail. Glad to know you're still improving.

Bernie said...

I am glad you are enjoying having Skipp home and I hope your worry over finances will be baseless and everything will work out soon for you. Sorry about your leg, MS is a challenging disease but I know you are doing your best to deal with it and handling it with so much grace.
Tolerance/Patience.....I am only speaking for myself but it took a lot of growing up on my part before I acquired either. Patience came to me first, tolerance later and only when I could take people for who they were and didn't try and force my way of thinking onto them. Finally after becoming patient and more tolerant acceptance arrived and I have never known or been as contented or at peace as I am now. Life is good my friend and I am keeping you in my heart and prayers that all your issues are resolved. Sending big hugs...:-)

Gail said...


I, like you had to mature, become seasoned to have any appreciation or ability to be patient and tolerant and YES, the outcome is so freeing and allows for peace and contentment. I SO appreciate your wisdom and friendship.
Love Gail

Gail said...

I SO love your insight and wisdom and honest shared understandings. And yes, patience IS a virtue. And your examples are so eloquently expressed. TOlerance is more complicated, and I SO agree with the aspects of it you wrote about. I do believe that I would not be tolerant of evil, or mis-use of power, or abuse or negelect or any acts against humanity. We are saying the same ting for sure when you wrote - ....."Patience implies an expected change; tolerance does not". Absolute truth.
Love to you and deep appreciation

Wanda..... said...

Hope your doctor appointment is helpful, Gail.

My thoughts on patience and tolerance are defined by health issues at the moment...those of a son and grandson. My calm and patient nature is being tested, as I wait for my son's test results and my grandson's full recovery.

Gail said...


Oh my, patience takes on a whole new meaning when one is waiting such as you are for outcomes to health issues and tests. I am prying so hard right now for your son and grandson and for you and your family too.
Love to you always

Just Be Real said...

Gail, praying all goes well with the doctor. Patience and tolerance, well.....what can I say. I appreciate your insights on your post. Thanks. Blessings.

Gail said...


good to see you. I am on the mend :-)
Love to you

Eileen said...

First, so sorry about the MS set-back, and I hope things return to your abnormal/normal soon! Keep us posted when you get a chance.
And I'm glad to hear that some of the reason you haven't been around blog land is because you and Skipp are enjoying each other! Beautiful!

As far as patience and tolerance, I agree with the thoughts of Grizz. And the only thing I can add is that I've always thought of patience as more peaceful and serene, and I've always thought of tolerance as sort of trying to be open-minded (especially about a situation/lifestyle/whatever that I don't really agree with). Patience to me is sort of a quiet settling in or waiting, and tolerance is more pro-active. If that makes any sense.

And I think we're all a little self-righteous in thinking that our way of thinking and doing is the right way and then we wait or hope for others to come around to our way of thinking and doing!

But I guess the best thing to do is to accept that we are all different and not everyone has to think like us or live like us and then that's where tolerance comes in.

All good wishes for you, Gail, in mind, and body, and soul.
Love and Prayers,

Margie said...

Hi Gail
Thinking of you and sending you healing thoughts.
Take good care!

Gail said...


thank you somuch for your kindness and understanding. I am on the mend from the MS set back and I had cordizone shots in both arms (ouch!!) which helps the inflamation. I so appreciate your insight on patience and tolerance. It seems we all feel pretty much the same way which is why we found our way to one another, huh? :-)
Love to you and yours

Gail said...

so nice to see you. I am on the mend!
Love Gail

Andy said...

Patience is a virtue - they say. I believe that to be true although I can see what you mean about it being a bit of a two-edged sword with the 'I'm right' thing.

Tolerance is accepting something you don't like or that cannot be changed.

There, that's my two pennies.

Gail said...

Hi Andy
thanks so much for your "two pennies" worth. :-) You are 'spot on' :-)
Love you lots