Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Socks, Hands and Fences

Everyone has their "turn-ons" and "turn-offs. right? And yes, it is way more than that but we all have little signals, flags of 'yay' or 'nay' when we are deciding if we want to be involved with someone, romantically and have them be in our intimate world as well. Most of this piece is going to feel superficial, but I can assure you it is not My rationale and reasons and feelings are time tested and have proven quite accurate despite the surface feel. My first assessment is physical - and they are hands and socks. And for me, the socks tell more than the hands. I really don't like guys who wear, whatI refer to as, "skinny socks". They are socks that are made of a thin slippery material and even shiny and some what see through and usually slip down some in to the shoe. I certainly know my reference for such a sock choice and quite frankly it has stayed tried and true over the years despite the horrid man who wore such socks. "Don't let guys with skinny socks close to you - never!!!!!" Skipp wears the most amazing thick, hold their form, socks. Even his dressier socks are thicker and hold up and don't slip or appear 'see through'. Phew huh?
Next is hands. This is a bit trickier to explain. It is such a personal preference and not so easy to define. I don't like guys with short stubby fingers and also if they are too "white-white" and/or have freckles it is a BIG no-no'!! I notice immediately and avoid anyone with those physical characteristics. And Skipp? Oh my, I love his hands. His are bronze color ( because he is Blackfoot Indian) and his fingers are long and slender and perfect. Phew, huh? If, when I met him he had been wearing "skinny-socks" and had 'white-white' hands with stubby fingers I can assure you I would not have gotten close to him or let him be close to me. I am also quite sure that if he was wearing 'skinny-socks' and had white stubby hands he would NOT be the guy he is - it just has been the case that guys that wear 'skinny-socks' and/or have white stubby hands are not good guys. And I know you could argue against this quite well, and that's fine - but for me? This is tried and true................
Now the third thing which is not so physical is my "Over The Fence" half century old proven concept. I wrote a post about it so I will re-post it here.

"Over The Fence" poses the question as to who in your world is an "Over The Fence Person and who isn't, and are you an "Over The Fence Person Yourself?" Serious questions to consider.

Let me take you back. When I was five, yes five, a few decades ago (or s0), I would wait to go in to my kindergarten class with my class mates in a small fenced in area outside the door. The fence was pretty high given we were all five. I could probably rest my chin on the top, maybe.

I would often wonder how I would get over the fence if say a big thing fell out of the sky or maybe a bad storm just came right to where we were all waiting or maybe a big monster would happen by and jump in. I just knew that I had to be sure I could get out and over that fence if I had to.

I was chubby. So jumping or climbing over on my own probably wouldn't be something I could do. At five years old this was a huge dilemma. As a side note; besides chubby I was quite adorable. :-) I had long dark wavy hair to my waist, the brightest blue eyes and rosy cheeks. I just thought you all should know that.

I began to look around at my classmates, all five years old just like me and I was sizing them up to figure out who amongst them I could count on to help me "Over The Fence" in the event I needed to get over. Even at five it wasn't that hard to figure out. The kids who smiled a lot, and the one's who shared their snack, the one's who didn't call me names or make fun of one kid who had a weird eye that rolled around, the one's who spoke softly and didn't stick their tongues out. Get the idea?

I felt so much safer knowing who I could count on if I needed to get over that fence in a hurry. I knew who would reach back and help me over to safety and never leave me behind to face the danger alone. I was no longer scared inside that fenced in area at five years old once I figured it out in my mind.

Since then, I put everyone that comes in to my life inside that fenced in kindergarten area with me. I have been doing this for decades and it has never been wrong. I figure out rather quickly if they would hop the fence and keep going or if they would reach back and help me "Over The Fence". If they would go on without me I don't allow that person too close to me. If I intuitively know they would help me "Over The Fence" then that person is someone I would allow in my life more closely. Thus the term "Over The Fence".

I challenge you to look at the people in your lives and put them in that fenced in area with you. If there were an event that dictated you getting out of that fenced in area would they go over the fence and leave you behind or would they reach back and help you to safety. You already know which people in your life would go on without you and which one's would never leave you behind. Get rid of the one's that would go on without you and hang on tightly to the one's that would never leave you behind and that are truly "Over The Fence" people. And by the way, which one are you?

And there you have my "Over The Fence" rule. :-)

SO, what "do's" and "don'ts" do you live by or "Yays" or "Nays" for romance/relationships and who are the 'Over The Fence" people in your life and are you an "Over The Fence Person"...............

Good stuff, huh?


PENolan said...

Girl, I don't know about his socks yet, or his hands for that matter, but that fellow I was telling you about? He'd be standing beside the fence giving everybody in the school yard a boost.

Bernie said...

Gail, what an interesting post, I honestly have never thought the way you have here.....strange eh!

I would never go over a fence if someone needed me, somehow I would find a way to bring them with me and if I couldn't then I would just stay right there with them.

As far as the socks or even the description of hands go....again I have never thought of anyone this way. Honestly it has never mattered to me what kind of socks. or how white their hands or even the shape of their fingers, if a person is clean, if he uses those hands to help and be kind to others.....then I am there supporting them if they show any type of anger, bitterness or cruelty then I am out of there. I don't think I have met many cruel people, probably if I did I would of just walked away without a second thought not giving them my time or energy.
I love how we are all so different yet can respect as well as love each other in spite of these differences. Life would be so boring if we all were the same my friend....great post with much food for thought......:-) Hugs

Diana said...

Oh Gail I am definitely an over the fence person. I really don't think I'd be able to leave anyone behind.
As far as yays and nays, I have a problem with people who talk so loud as to draw attention to themselves. Except of coarse in emergencies or public speaking! I also don't like when people don't take responsibility for there mistakes, I do like when people can admit that they made a mistake and apologize. I really think that's beautiful.
As far as physical things go, I can't honestly think of anything. If there were something that I found physically unattractive on someone, there was always something good inside that would take away from the bad. On the other hand I have known some beautiful people that were quite ugly inside.
Love Di ♥

Shen said...

hmmm well I like the over the fence idea. That feels like something real.
The other things... not so sure. I'm afraid my husbands socks and hands wouldn't meet your standards, but they meet mine just fine - and after 33 years together (25 married) I guess that's enough of a test for me ;-)

cinner said...

Very interesting, I totally get the fence inside or out, and am dealing with a bit right now...It is very strange what attracts us to someone, twinkle in the eye, we have to laugh, and no business suits, I know that is kind of strange, rugged working man hands. Take care , I got to think on this, might be back in the morning.....no socks....lol

Gail said...


Oh I knew already, 100% that you are an 'Over The Fence Person" - you would have never left me. :-). And I love how you shared about peoples characteristics, yay and nay . wonderful. You are a gem!


And I know that you too are 100% an "Over The Fence" person, and Isighed with warmth out loud when I read your words that you "just stay right there with them". I am honorod that you found my post to be "food for thought"


I cheered when I read your words that your new guy

"He'd be standing beside the fence giving everybody in the school yard a boost". I love him for you already. YAY!!


Good one huh? And I love the "no business suits" heehee :-)
I am excited to read what else you may feel about this. And you are such a true "over the fence" person. :-)


There is no rigt or wrong, just like you and everyone else, I have personal preferences. :-) Your husband is perfect for you exactly the way he is.

Love to you all

Mark said...

Very interesting. We all have are own ways. Interesting about the socks, never heard that one before. I guess if there were no socks than it would be all about the hands.

CordieB said...

Very Good Stuff, Gail. I'm an over the fence gal, myself. You're right, we know intuitively whose willing to help us over the fence and who is not. I suppose, I need to take to heed your wise advice; lest I might get eaten by that monster! As for thin, see-through socks and stubby white fingers....that was just plain hysterially funny! First good laugh for the day...barely got to the over the fence wisdome from laughing at your story on thin socks and stubby white fingers. As for my preferences for a man, he's got to at least be tall enough to get me over a fence that's 5'2 (my height) I'm not attracted to short men. Sorry, but it's real.

Thanks for the Joy Gail. Enjoyed it!

Gail said...


I am so glad you got a hearty chuckle. :-) It is fun stuff, huh? And I love that you know that short men are not your thing. So cool. And yes, I so know that you are an 'Over the fence" gal!!

Loev to you

Gail said...


I always wonder what folks mean when they say "interesting". :-)

And also, I love a guy with nice feet and can pull off going barefoot.

Love to you

souldose said...

You have your strange way of sizing people up but if you find what works for you girl ride it all the way.

Gail said...


Ride it indeed!! :-)

How are you feeling?

Love Gail

Tamarind~ said...

I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. Its a cool stuff! Each line brought a smile on my face. I could see it all, the fence, your KG freinds, the chubby You..! And yea, you are still adorable :)Go on!

Gail said...


So nice to see you and I thoroughly enjoyed and appreciated your kind and loving words to me.

Love to you