Saturday, March 20, 2010

Happy Birthday Dolan


"DOLAN PAUL - born march 21st.

Dolan was named after my grandmother on my Dad's side - her maiden name was Dolan. His middle name was given him in memory of his father's twin brother that was killed 27 years ago. Dolan's father and I went to Washington state to be with his twins fiance following his tragic death. We drove along the Pacific Coast Highway to San Francisco. Once there she had rented a special plane. We took Paul's ashes up in the plane with us to Bridal Veil Mountain in Yosemite National Park where they were to be married. We went on the day - June 12th. Later that night, Dolan was created out of love, passion and grief. I felt the moment and it was glorious. Dolan, at birth, was nine pounds, nine ounces!! And ironically he was a twin - his twin did not develop properly and did not make it. :-( There was so much Dolan though, so much. :-)
And so for a time we loved Dolan together and then, as life happened, his Dad left and we forged on together with courage and faith.

Dolan is a wonderful young man - with intelligent wit, a loving heart, compassion, wisdom, passion for life, a good friend and so 'just' - he is a gifted, published writer, a unique artist/illustrator, a talented musician, a comic, a playwright, a teacher, and simple gentle man who cares deeply about so much and so many. I think three things are critical to such wonderful qualities, first is that he always had a fan-cheerleader, ME!, second I always encouraged and supported his personal creative expressions, always, and thirdly I always told him that when his Dad and I created him we loved each other very much and that for a time we loved him together until we no longer could and then I took over.

I have learned so much from Dolan - in many ways he has taught me so much. And I love that he turns to me for guidance and answers on his life challenges. We honor one another and it feels so good. I will end this with one story about Dolan's wisdom ad keen intuition:

A few years back, after an ice storm SKipp and I and some friends braved the icy roads and headed to a local pub/restaurant for some drinks and food - there were over 100 people in the restaurant and bar - I suppose all of like thinking - we all had cabin fever from the ice storm!!!! It was very noisy in the bar and the restaurant side was very full as well. We were laughing and having fun and told some 'off-color' jokes, which apparently was heard by a family in the restaurant- which, for the life of me, given the amount of people, and noise I could not understand how anyone could distinguish who said what - be that as it may our waitress rudely told us our conversation was offensive and to keep it down - One of our friends told her that she was very rude and we left soon after.

Over the years of loyal patronage Skipp and I had developed a close relationship with the restaurant owner - Bruce. And, Bruce was the MC during the Special Olympics event on our town green which featured the song Skipp wrote about our special needs grandson. Our experience of planning this event with Brice drew us very close. That being said we felt we could write to Bruce about our experience at his restaurant - so we did. Several days later we received a certified letter from him. We truly believed it must be a gift certificate given the recent events. HAH!! The letter was a formal notice advising us we were "not allowed in his restaurant ever again and if we did show up we would be arrested for criminal trespass.!!" We were shocked. Can you even imagine?

A few years after while Dolan was home on school break he said he wanted to eat at this particular restaurant. I was concerned given the "no trespass" letter. He felt it would be fine. I nervously went with him. I hoped Bruce wouldn't be there but he was. I said to Dolan "What do I say if he comes up to me" Dolan said, "Just say, "Bruce, I trust that time has reconciled us". And so it came to pass, Bruce happened by, and he stopped at our table - and I said "Bruce, I trust that time has reconciled us". and he answered, "Yes, yes it has, enjoy your meal." :-) Dolan was right. 100%!!! Good story, huh?
:-)

So, happy birthday Son - you are such a gift - a blessing - and your very existence transcends all that is unjust in this world. I love you.............. Mom















29 comments:

cinner said...

hi Gail, a quick note to say hi and let you know I have been thinking about you. happy birthday to your son. i have been walking trying to strengthen my legs. hope you are well, your first on my list when I get back to visit. love ya. hugs. cinner

Gail said...

HI CINNER-

You just keep getting strong and I will too, k?
Love to you
Gail
peace.....

Shen said...

Happy Birthday Dolan!I think he is glad to have you in his life.
and it was a good story. It sounds like Bruce might not have even realized who you were? lol Funny how that goes sometimes. People are angry and then they forget all about it,.

Bernie said...

Happy Birthday Dolan, I hope you had a wonderful day.....:-) Hugs

Wonderingsoul said...

A lovely post from a lovely mum.

Hope your back is getting better?

xxx

Gail said...

HI WONDERINGSOUL-

thanks :-)

HI BERNIE-

today was lovely - warm and clear and breezy -

HI SHEN-

thanks and ya, time does make us forget, thank goodness, huh? :-)

love to you all
Gail
peace.....

Margie said...

Wishing happy birthday to your son Dolan.
I know how very proud you are of him, he sounds just amazing!
I loved how you said Dolan is a gift and a blessing!
That is just how I feel about my son.
Every day I thank God for him and all the joy he brings to my life (as well as my daughter)

How are you feeling now Gail?
I hope so much you are doing better and your pain had lessened!

Be well dear!

Margie :)

Whitemist said...

I had to read your story several tiems and got it, I guwess i am tired, so Happy Birthday Dolan and many more full of wisdom!

Gail said...

Hi MARGIE-

I feel so connected to you in our shared experiences as Mom's. And I am getting better. I am about two thirds improved. phew. Stilldoing heat treatments and being careful but I am SO much better. phew.

HI JOEY
I am so glad to see you and feel honored that you took the time to re-read. :-) Now rest up so you can have a great Sunday.

Love to you both
Gail
peace.....

Tramp said...

We have a wonderful 11 year old son. There is a lot to teach him but it is so important to ask questions and listen, we learn a lot from him. He is such a diplomat.

Diana said...

Hi Gail,
I love that video, very cool! As is Dolan it sounds. I hope you get to spend time together. I have often thought that our kids birthdays are more for us than them. What do you think? I always sit and think about the day they were born and all of the antics over the years as well as the pride that they give and have given me in the past. So it seems to be a special day for us as well. Dolan sounds like a guy that would make you sit and ponder the good work that you have done! Happy Birthday Dolan! Love Di ♥

MadPriest said...

Yes, yes, yes. Very good story. But in order for your loyal readers to fully appreciate it and decide for themselves on the appropriateness of the restauranteur's actions, we really need to have sight of the "off-colour" jokes, in full. I'll pop back later after you had a chance to post them.

Iktomi said...

thanks for sharing that story! if my friends and i had been kicked out of every place we told off color jokes in, we would never be able to eat out! lol
happy birthday dolan :)

Gail said...

HI IKTOMI-

Thanks so much for your admission that you and your friends tell 'adult' jokes too. phew.

Love you
Gail
peace.....

Gail said...

HI MADPRIEST-
OK, YOU ASKED!! :-)

well, the two thngs I recall are as follows: ahem. (clearing my throat)

My husband gave speech in a sort of God-voice about how God has provided us with all the herb bearing seeds of the earth for us to partake - it was a tribute to marijuana
AND
the other was a spoof on a slang Italian phrase (and please excuse my incorrect spelling)
the phrase is "la facca de mammada" which means 'the face of your mother' and is considered an insult, and someone in our group mentioned how it kind of rhymed with"rectal thermometer".....!!!! :-)
I am pretty sure that, that was the language that put a very uptight family over the top and reported us!!!

And there you have it!!! :-)

Love to you
Gail
peace
oh and Happy Spring time......

Gail said...

HI DIANA-

I do ponder much about Dolan - he is a unique and amazing young man. ANd ya, our kids birthdays are for us to celebrate - and Dolan was a HUGE celebration weighing in at 9 pounds, nine ounces. ouch!!!

Love you a bunch
Gail
peace......

Gail said...

HI TRAMP-

Eleven y/o old son huh? wonderful. :-)

And yes, ak, then listen. listen, listen. Our kids are wonderful teachers.

Love to you my friend.
Gail
peace......

MadPriest said...

What?!!
I get cruder jokes off my Sunday School kids.
You were certainly hard done by. Don't you people have amendments or something? I hope you gave that ridiculous family something to really be offended about before you left.

Choices said...

A Happy Birthday wish to your son,Dolan. You are both blessed to have each other.
Hope you are feeling better.
Have a wonderful day.

Gail said...

HI CHOICES-ANNE

Happy Sunday to you..... :-) And yes, I am better, not 100% but way better. phew. ANd blessings indeed.

Love to you
Gail
peace.....

Gail said...

HI MAD PRIEST-

Thanks for chiming in, no, really, "THANKS"!!!! as in, eehah type of thanks!!! :-)

you are wild and cool

love to you
Gail
peace.....

Andy said...

Lovely, Gail. Really lovely. I hope he had a good birthday. Were you able to spend it together?

Mark said...

Happy birthday to Dolan, sounds like a blessing in many ways! Love the story, thanks for sharing. Sometimes a business owner has to take certain actions to protect themselves from being sued. I am sure that is all this was.

Gail said...

HI MARK-
So nice to see you here.

And ya, I am sure Bruce had his reasons but we were so surprised.


HI ANDY-

Dolan will be home this weekend because he is on school break so will celebrate then. -)

Love to you both
Gail
peace....

Eileen said...

Birthday greetings to Dolan! I hope he enjoyed his special day!

And I love how he said, "I trust that time has reconciled us", I've had a wonderful reconciliation in my life with a family member, and it was time that reconciled us.

As far as the restaurant, I know my brother-in-law goes way over the top. I love him, and we're all used to him, but he's so loud, and he has absolutely no filter, if he's thinking it, it comes out of his mouth, (doesn't even matter if his Lutheran Pastor is standing next to him)and I do wonder sometimes what other people think, and I wonder if we're disturbing them. We've never been told not to come back again, but after hearing your story I'm surprised we haven't been asked to leave and never darken their doors again.
I would imagine it's a very fine line that Bruce has to walk.
I'm glad it all worked out in the end.

Love to you,
Eileen

Teacher's Pet said...

Hi Gail...I was reading the comments (I love to read all of them after I read your blog... :))
...and I noticed what a big baby Nolan was! Wow!
Belated Happy Birthday to Nolan.
Many smiles to you, Gail.
Thank you for your continued friendship...
Jackie

Gail said...

HI JACKIE

Oh gosh yes, DOLAN, (not Nolan) was a big baby - phew. :-)

So nice to see you and I love your blog space too

HI EILEEN-

thanks so much for sharing about your brother-in-law and how you are surprised that what happened to us never happened to you and yours. :-) wow.

Love to you both
Gail
peace......

Sniffles and Smiles said...

Oh, Happy Birthday to your wonderful boy who is now a very wonderful and wise man!!! Thank you for sharing this...you and Dolan are such an inspiration! Love you! Janine XO

Gail said...

HI JANINE

thank you so much for sharing in this celebration :-)

Love to you
Gail
peace.....