Sunday, February 19, 2012

A small afghan - made with love.







My Mom made this lovely small afghan for me.  My favorite colors.  She apologized because she wasn't able to finish it due to her arthritic fingers.  I think it is perfect and keeps me warmer than any other quilt I have,.  I think that is because it was made with such abundant love.


She just got out of the hospital after a set back due to the impact of dialysis. She is now in a 're-hab' to hopefully get some strength so she can walk again and transfer on her own from a chair or her bed and be able to walk up at least five stairs (which is her entrance to her home) -  Right now she cannot so she can't come home.  This breaks our hearts -

And not to make this about me but I really questioned God this go-round.  First, why she has to suffer so, and secondly why I have to struggle to navigate to visit her given the limits of my having MS.  The long hallways on hard surfaces kill my feet -  they get numb and it feels like I am walking on fire and ice - and DON"T even say I should use a wheel chair, DON'T!  I will come right through the computer screen, I swear I will.  I am NOT ready to make that transition, I an NOT.  AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is all so complicated and unsettling as I wrestle with our realities.  And don't get me started on the health care obstacles and incompetent social workers we are dealing with whose job is to 'set up' the details of her health and safety needs after being in the hospital.  To say they fell short is an understatement.  So atop all the emotions of her fragile health we are fighting to get her needs met.

I guess I have complained and thrown enough tantrums, huh?  So today I will be grateful that my Mom is still here with us - and has all her faculties - she is still so funny and of strong mind.  I am grateful I can go and visit her - despite my feet on fire.  Good Lord!  Skipp and I had a delicious Sunday breakfast together - the blessing in that are endless.  The sun is shining and the air is cool and refreshing.  And I am loved.  Amen.   This is one of my Mom's favorite songs.



28 comments:

Theanne said...

your Mom and Mr. Armstrong are right, it is "a wonderful world"...frustrating a lot of the time...but wonderful just for the being! With prayers for your Mom's recovery and peace for you Gail!

Jane said...

Gail, the afghan your mom made is so lovely, and considering she was working with arthritic fingers, it's even more precious. I'm so sorry to hear of all the challenges in your lives right now. They're tough, real realities and it's not simply a matter of telling yourself "cheer up and things will get better". I don't blame you at all for fighting against using a wheel chair and would never encourage you just 'give in'. I applaud you for counting your blessings and that's one of my favourite songs as well. Blessings and hugs, Jane

Jackie said...

Love the afghan your Mom made for you. She chose great colors and I love that stitch. I know that you love it beyond words.
Hugs for your Mom and for you, Gail.
Please, know that I care...
Love,
J.

Amanda said...

I quite enjoy that song and am glad you shared it.

There are so many unknowns in life, you're right. I have no thoughts on that currently - because I have similar questions!

The afghan is lovely and the colors are my favorite as well! I hope your mother gains strength and is able to come home soon.

Thinking of you and sending up a prayer.

Love to you!

Eileen said...

Beautiful afghan, all the more beautiful because your Mom made it for you! And the color is perfect.

I can so commiserate with you and all you are going through with your Mom's failing health. Such a roller coaster of emotions. And I can well understand your frustrations with the health care system, nursing homes, and social workers (we had the same thing with my Mom & Dad), it's jumping through hoops, after having made sure you dotted every i and crossed every t. It truly is mind-boggling, and then you have to wonder about the poor souls who have no close relatives to advocate for them, because as much as the social workers are supposed to be patient advocates, (with the exception of one social worker), all I witnessed was them advocating on behalf of the hospitals and nursing homes. It hurt my heart to find out the things I wish had never come to light.

I'm so happy you and Skipp have each other. And I'm so happy you have such determination!
I will keep you all in my prayers.
Love to you,
Eileen

Gail said...

THEANNE - thanks SO much for your understanding and your prayers.

JANE - I SO appreciate your understanding about my not wanting to use a wheel chair, after all, and thank God - I CAN WALK! And I am so glad you like the song and of course, the afghan :-)

JACKIE - I feel your hugs and it is wonderful. Those really are lovely peaceful colors, huh? :-) And I do know that you care, I do.


AMANDA - thank you so much for sending up prayer - and your kind words to me mean so much, thank you :-)

EILEEN - our lives have so many common threads - your shared wisdom, prayers and understanding mean so much and you always share of how you understand personally which means a lot to me. "thank you" for sharing in my world and letting me in to yours

LOVE TO YOU ALL
GAIL
PEACE.....

Lola said...

Hi Gail,
I truly hope things will get better soon.
All my love

Cinner said...

I was saddened to read this post. I am sorry your Mom is not well, hopefully she can get back into her home soon. As for the wheel chair, good for you Gail for not giving in to that. I so understand, at the hospital last week, if it were not for benches I would of had to use one, I just can't let myself on those bad days...I am glad you can still find the grateful things in life too, makes the hard days easier. I love the afghan your Mom made you. I pray you both feel better soon. hugs to you both. love ya hey.

Just Be Real said...

Lovely afghan that your mum made. My favorite color too. Blessings to you Gail.

Gail said...

JBR - thanks for stopping by and I so appreciate your loving words

CINNER - thanks SO much for the vote of confidence and understanding about NO wheel chair - I know you get it!! And I feel your prayers and hugs. Wonderful

LOLA - so good to see you and thank you very much for your well wishes and love


LOVE TO YOU ALL
GAIL
PEACE......

Tracey said...

Prayers & thought for your mom. Hopefully she will be able to get back home, soon. Love the afghan - my favorite colors, too! I am sure the warmth it gives you is tight Higgins from you mom. Hang in there with trying to get things on order. People can be so rude & inconsiderate. But hang in there for each day is new. Rey to give your 'tootsies' some rest. I don't blame you for going bonkers over he wheelchair!!! Nooooo!! Lol.

Love, me

Diana said...

Oh Gail I am so sorry that things are so tough right now for you and mom. I thank God that you are a tough woman.
I understand all too well about your afghan and mom's arthritis. My hands hurt so bad some nights, and the carpel tunnel is awful. I have to wear splints every night to bed.
As a person who loves to crochet, I'm sure your mom felt awful about not being able to finish your afghan. My Ginny wants me to make her a full size one and I often wonder how much more these hands can take. But you are right, it's the love that keeps us going. Weather it be crocheting or walking, it's the love that keeps us going. Love Di ♥

Wanda..... said...

This is the time of year my own mother's health declined and the need of her placement in a care facility...not an easy decision to make. Hope you mom's situation improves and Spring brings a rejuvenation for all.

Louis Armstong's rendition is my favorite!

Gail said...

TRACEY - thanks so much for your prayers and words of understanding. It means SO much


DIANA - gosh I wish we lived closer. I love how yo understand things so well. And yes, love is the answer to it all.

WANDA - so glad you like the song. And yes, Spring brings new hope and promise.


Love to you all
Gail
peace.....

Jackie said...

Checking on your Mom to see how she is doing with her re-hab.
Sending you hugs as well.
J.

Gail said...

JACKIE - thanks for checking in, Mom is coming along slowly. Time will tell when and if she can come home, we are all so unsettled. thank you for all your prayers and shared love,
love Gail
peace.....

Madeleine Maddocks said...

Love the afghan. A precious heirloom. Hugs and prayers to you and your family at this time.

Amanda said...

Just for you - I darkened the font! I hope you are doing well!

Sending you out some love!

Gail said...

Amanda- "thank you" so much :-)

Love Gail
peace.....

Whitemist said...

i also have afgans made by my mom - there is a continuation of love in them, is'nt there?

Gail said...

HI JOEY - oh yes, a continuation of love indeed. wonderful huh? :-)
Love you man
Gail
peace.....

Teresa said...

Oh Gail,
Life seems so unfair at times...but it is so wonderful that you can still count your blessings. It is a "Wonderful World". Just before I left Canada my son Adam was singing that song and playing his guitar to me and his new baby. It brings tears to my eyes thinking about it. Blessings to you Gail.

(((HUGS)))) T

Gail said...

HI TERESA - so happy to have you come by. I love your sharing of how you remember the song :-) warmed my heart.
Love to you always
Gail
peace......

truewonder said...

Dear Gail,

You who are going through so much, perhaps more than any of us can truly know...still take the time to bring joy to me. You remind me of the saying, and I won't get it right but it goes something like this- True beauty shows like light through a stain glassed window, not when all the lights are on- but only after it gets really dark.
You are beautiful. Peace to you and yours,
Terry

Gail said...

Terry - thank you so much for your kind and loving words to me. I am humbled by your sharing.
Love Gail
peace.....

Kim @ Stuff could... said...

You have a right to have a tantrum:) but you did not...The afghan is beautiful

Gail said...

HI KIM - thanks, I knew you would understand :-)
Love Gail
peace.....

Eileen said...

Just stopped by to say I'm thinking of you.
Love and Prayers,
Eileen