Saturday, January 7, 2012

A visit and some wisdom




Our adorable grand daughter Alaura came for a visit with her Dad and his fiance'.  This is Skipp's eldest son Adam and his daughter Alaura..  It was a lovely visit,
exhausting and lovely.

The New Year has come in with force and also calm.  New Years Eve my Mom was rushed to the ER because her dialysis port broke down - they fixed it temporarily and today she had the surgery to repair it.  Phew.  She is very brave and so wonderful.  Gosh, I love her so.......  :-)

As I sat at our dining room table today and looked out at the woods, the brook and the variety of birds gathering at our feeders I felt at peace, blessed, lucky even.  We were having coffee and writing out our bills and I thought of the timing of things and how I am fortunate to have long term disability income in addition to my social security disability.  When I first became employed at the in-patient treatment facility after graduating college a tad later in life they offered a company paid long term disability plan along with the health benefit package.  They only offered it for two years and then any one hired after that was not offered the disability insurance and those who already had it were able to keep it.  I remember when the company informed their employees  of this add-on benefit.  I wrote to the President and thanked him for this generous benefit and that although I hoped I never would need it I felt so secure knowing it was there for me if I ever did need it. Then, some 8 years later I am benefiting from this long term disability income after I was unable to work full time and eventually retired.   I will continue to receive this benefit until age of retirement which right now is 66 and if it is raised to 68 or 70 the disability carries on.  Amazing huh?  Clearly, there was a plan in place of a greater power than myself overseeing outcomes.As I reflect on so many events this powerful reality becomes clearer and clearer.

Also, as part of my career in substance abuse I was referred to a couple who are both doctors  and whose son was struggling with addiction.  I counseled them for two+ years.  During that time my Mom became ill with kidney disease.  One of the doctors is a kidney specialist and paved the way for my Mom to receive the best treatment possible.  We were given cell phone numbers and home phone numbers of her team of kidney specialists during the diagnostic and treatment decision process.  The relief in that was so wonderful.  Again,  a plan and outcomes were being overseen by a power far greater than myself.

As I look back at all the twists and turns in my life, the mistakes, the celebrations, the joys and sorrows, all the choices I made and all that happened to me not of my choosing as well I can see and understand the "whys' of it all, well, most of it.  I am not sure why I was diagnosed with MS - what the lesson is or where it is suppose to take me in the grander scheme of things. One thing is for sure.  If I never was diagnosed and I stayed working full time I never would have started this blog.  So, one of the good outcomes is I met all of you.  :-)

The choices and events that led Skipp and me to one another is by far the greatest supreme plan of all.  How we ever ended up  together is nothing short of a miracle and planned by a powerful loving force way beyond us.   All the tears and struggles we both endured were necessary steps on our way to one another.  As we both look back and realize all that happened on our way to one another we are more than
bold ed over with both wonder and humbling gratitude.

   I always loved this song and looked for it by Barbara Streisand but to no avail.  Anyway, I hope you all enjoy it.  And I hope too that as you look back over your lives thus far that you understand that each choice, each event, everything that has happened not of your choosing are all part of a greater plan overseen by a loving force.   As I wonder about certain things happening now and I cannot see yet their purpose in the grander scheme I am comforted in knowing that there is a reason and in believing that I am able to surrender more gently to a truth far beyond my reach.  Hallelujah





33 comments:

Madeleines Photos and Blog said...

Happy for you and your visit.
This post is beautiful and so well written.
Love
Madeleine

Tracey said...

Friend. That was a BEAUTIFUL post!! I am so glad that in the scheme of it all, you were able to start this blog,otherwise, I wouldn't be writing this @ this spot. Your thoughts so connect with what me & a friend was speaking of this morning about everything happening for a reason & coming together. She said if I had never had a lousy ex-hubby whom I divorced & came back to my hometown, she & I would not be the 'besties' that we are today! So see? Everything works out even though we never know how or why - our job is just to receive & be thankful. The way things worked out for your mom in her illness is amazing - so glad she is getting the best care possible. "Aulaura" is such a beautiful name; such a handsome family. But most of all, I'm glad you & Skip's souls met. The rest is magic. Your testimony moved me. Blessings, much peace, love and plenty of comfort to you ~ me :-)

Tracey said...

PS: speaking of your MS, the friend I spoke of earlier introduced to one of her best friends today that is battling MS and walks with a cane. The light & positivity that shone from this lady was blinding! I thought of you instantly with all your positivity in your battle. Just wanted to mention that :-) Again, love.

Wonderingsoul said...

Gail - This is a beautiful post and I am struck (again) by your humility and your grace as you choose to search for deeper meaning.
You really are inspirational and I thank you for the wisdom you offer so many of us here.
I believe VERY much that there is a 'greater power' and that He has mapped our lives.
I don't think that he causes us harm or DOES bad things to us, but I believe that ultimately, he is with us in all that happens and that good can come out of bad.
I also believe that one day, we will be shown the tapestry that our tiny, thread-lives are a part of and we will understand then, some of the things which remain so mysterious and so bizarre whilst we are living now.
I wish you so much peace.
It's lovely to see your beautiful grandaughter!

x

Jane said...

Hi Gail, You have indeed been truly blessed and cared for in very practical ways. I shudder to consider the stress you would now be under if you didn't have this long term disability package. I admire your attitude and trust that there is a reason beyond what we can see in the here and now. It's hard when you're in the middle of 'stuff'. Thanks for sharing so personally.

Gail said...

HI MADELINE - thanks for coming by and for 'seeing' the beauty in this truth
Love Gail
peace......

HI TRACEY - I SO appreciate you sharing with me of the lady with MS and the light of hope she casts AND to think you compare her to me!! I am humbled. I am so glad too that you came by and found inspiration here -
Love Gail
peace.....



WONDERINGSOUL - you are such a miracle - a true miracle with a life that gives endlessly as you fight for every breath, every freedom. I also am SO humbled that my truth inspires you - and I am so glad we found one another in this big ole world. I love the idea of a tapestry as the design of our lives - I have used that image often.
Love Gail
peace.....

HI JANE - I so appreciate your kind words of support and insight. It is hard when we are in the middle of 'stuff' to see beyond - but then again - it is in our darkest moments that the stars shine most brightly.
Love Gail
peace.....

Cinner said...

Hi Gail, sorry to hear about your Mom, glad she has such good care. It is a beautiful post...filled with love and such wisdom, full of trust and faith. I admire the strength you have and share with us....we are both in a good space right now. love it.
so glad you and Skipp found each other, sending a big hug your way.
love ya, c

Bernie said...

I too believe that everything happens for a reason and can look back on my life and see how one thing led to another. I have been very blessed and my most beautiful blessings are my family and friends, including you sweet lady.
......:-)Hugs

Anne said...

Such a lovely picture of Skipp, you and your Granddaughter.
Life is all about maturing as we age, and accepting, your post certainly reflects that.
Take care.
Smiles.

Gail said...

HI ANNE - always good to see you here. And 'thank you' for your kind words of appreciation and 'knowing'
Love Gail
peace......

HI BERNIE - Oh how I know and so appreciate your outlook on life and all that you hold dear and to think I am amongst those sentiments is such a blessing to me.
Love Gail
peace,....


HI CINNER - yes, we are in a good place - :-), and I so love how you just get in stride with my hearts song, hopes and fears too. You are such a blessing to me girl "hey"
Love Gail
peace......

Birdie said...

Gail, what a wonderful post! I do believe that things happen for reason, we may not like it at that given time, we may not understand it but there must be a higher plan for all ... :-) hugs & love!

George said...

A beautiful post, Gail, and I think you have embraced the finest spirit of "amor fati." To your credit, you have accepted those things which you cannot change, and you have recognized that each and every one of those things were critical to bringing you to the happy point at which you now reside. Loving one's fate does not mean loving every experience in an isolated way; it means recognizing that there is grace, purpose, and meaning in the ways in which our lives unfold.

Gail said...

HI GEORGE - I am so glad you came by. Your words are so reflective and wise - I am inspired by your bountiful spirit and presence. I am quite happy to kn ow you albeit in blog land - I am happy for our connection
Love Gail
peace....

HI BIRDIE - I know you get it too - you are so full of life and hope I am glad to tracvel in to 2012 with you my friend.
Love Gail
peace....

SE'LAH... said...

Happy New Year, dearest Gail!!! Sending peaceful vibes your way. May your mom be well. I'm so glad you started this blog. Your light is definitely needed in this small corner of blog land.

One love

Eileen said...

Hallelujah! Yes, Gail, I so agree. The ups, the downs, the highs, the lows, the feelings of unrest, the depths of sorrow, and the complete joy, the people that come and go in our lives ~ I believe it's all meant to be, and it all brings us to where we are meant to be.
My brother-in-law Donald and I were just discussing this very thing this afternoon. He had a very sad/weird/sickening and unsettling incident happen in his life last week, and he can't shake it, and he keeps asking God why it happened and why he was meant to be at that exact place and that exact time. I told him I didn't know the reason why, but I was sure it was in God's plan for him and for the other person involved.
I hope Donald can get to this place of 'knowing' for I fear without it, we are lost completely.

I love this post, and I'm glad you had such a nice visit, and I'm glad things worked in your Mom's favor. And I'm glad you see God's Handiwork in the fabric of your life. It reminds me of a passage in the Bible that talks about how God keeps in our minds the wonderful things He's done for us, and how He's compassionate, and how His Love for us always provides for us.


Beautiful post, Gail.
Beautiful songs.
Beautiful sentiments.
Love and Prayers,
Eileen

Gail said...

HI EILEEN - I know you know well how our lives are part of a powerful force beyond our reach - I hope your brother-in-law finds peace with his unsettling event. Sometimes it takes a long, long time. I am so glad we have met - perhaps we can meet for real some time - we live close enough
Love Gail
peace.....

Hi Se'Lah
I am so thrilled to have you visit me. I so appreciate all the kindness you spread around and I am honored ot be a part of your kindness circle of love.
Love Gail
peace.....

Just Be Real said...

A wonderfully written and lovely post Gail. Blessings and hugs.

Wanda..... said...

Peace and Contentment.... acceptance goes a long way in getting one there. Enjoyed your post, Gail...you have a lovely granddaughter. Life is Good!

Gail said...

HI WANDA - always love having you come by for a visit - I so appreciate your kind hear and sentiments
Love Gail
peace......

HI JBR - glad you came over - I know it is a tough time for you - breathe....and know you are precious
Love Gail
peace.....

Theanne said...

A beautiful post Gail...if I hadn't divorced my ex...I'd never have met Don and never experienced the love between two compatible human beings!

While I sometimes used to feel my life had had lots of ups and downs, I have learned that my life has been so easy easy easy than so many others...

I am thankful...but often ask myself "why have I been spared the pain of so many others"...I know God kept me strong and healthy for a long time to take care of Don...but God has not yet lead me to a new task...is helping with the rearing of my g'kids HIS plan?

Jackie said...

Gail...How is your Mom? (It's late Monday evening as I ask.)
I am truly moved at the workings of the Lord in your life, Gail. It is difficult (if not sometimes impossible) to understand His timing and His plan. Even though I shouldn't, I find myself questioning it....but patiently waiting for His will do be done. How wonderful that you are in the fold of His arms...He is taking care of His child.
Let me go back to the first photo...Alaura. How lovely she is! I know that you all had a wonderful time together. Such a blessing to have in your life, Gail.
I hear that brook and those birds. I can only imagine the peace that you feel as you sit and look out at those woods. Sigh. Beautifully written, Gail.
As the doctors were placed in yours and your Mom's pathway, I whisper a prayer of thanksgiving....for the doctors who helped you and for the treatments available for your Mom
As you and Skipp enjoy this new year together, I pray for continued blessings for you both. I'm glad that I've met you through blogging. Take care, my friend....
Love,
Jackie

Gail said...

DEAREST JACKIE - I feel so satrongly trhe love and light of your words to me. I am so honored to have you feel so deeply and share those feelings with me. I do believe that you are one of the blessed one's that brings hope and light to others - I know this because you have brought such graciously to me.
Love to you
Gail
peace......

DEAR THEANNE - your sharing of your divorce and then finding DOn - the love of your life is exactly what I posted about. And so too your wonder about His plan for you, and if it is to help raise children? Just stay open and keep doing what is true as you already are and the understanding will become clearer over time.
Love to you
Gail
peace.....

Diana said...

Hi Gail,
I'm so glad that things are going alright for your mom and hope that her situation continues to improve. It sounds like she has a good support team to back her up.
I have thought about all of the things that have happened in my life. I don't really question any of it as I believe that everything does happen for a reason. So I just sort of wait to see what the reason may be!!
You are fortunate to have the financial help in your life. Sounds like a good decision on your part!
Love Di ♥

Gail said...

HI DI - always so glad to see you. How are your knees? I know you understand and accept so much and that you believe - I think we are drawn to one another because we do think and feel alike on such things :-)
Love to you
Gail
peace...

Amanda said...

I have always believed that everything happens for a reason, although those thoughts are quickly being shoved out of the window ;0) Your post reminded me of what I need to focus on, the positive side of things and to remember that I really am fortunate and that there is a bigger picture that I need to be looking at. Thank you for that ...

Love,
Amanda

Gail said...

HI AMANDA

Sorry to hear things are gloomy for you. I am glad my post helped some - it is really all about 'balance'. Life is not all good or all bad - rather a blend.
Love to you
Gail
peace.....

Kim @ Stuff could... said...

I do not know the 'whys' of it all but I know in Whom I give the credit. I still receive these disability income too. I do not believe it is just lucky...many say that to me

Gail said...

HI KIM - glad to hear you receive some disability too, phew, right? :-)
Love Gail
peace.....

Margie said...

Gail, Happy New Year!
You are most inspiring and I too believe everything happens for a reason!

It's such a pleasure to visit and read this post!
It's full of love and wisdom and I thank you for sharing!

Your family is a beautiful family!
Love the pictures!
It's lovely how much you love your mom!
I miss mine so much!
Glad your mom is okay now!

Take care, be well, be happy!

Hugs

Margie :)

Gail said...

HI MARGIE -
So good to have you visit - :-) I know you miss your Mom :-(. I SO appreciate your kind words to me,

Love Gail
peace.....

Lola said...

hei... I am back!
:)
http://www.lolascrapbool.blogspot.com

Lola said...

sorry Gail,
the address is lolascrapbook.blogspot.com
:-)

Amanda said...

Just checking in to make sure you're doing well :0)