tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7828389555620814846.post1820015373182067140..comments2023-03-21T05:36:39.510-04:00Comments on FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM MY (our)LIFE WITH MS(formerly titled "Know Your Its)..: The lesser of two evils. = CrossroadGailhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11337675996256691215noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7828389555620814846.post-20598688767576457472009-07-06T17:31:19.887-04:002009-07-06T17:31:19.887-04:00Hi Molly-
Always so nice to see you. :-)
And than...Hi Molly-<br /><br />Always so nice to see you. :-)<br />And thanks for reminding me I don't have to label this "shift", it just is.<br /><br />Love to you<br />Gail<br />peace......Gailhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11337675996256691215noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7828389555620814846.post-2396333037582310882009-07-06T17:22:31.692-04:002009-07-06T17:22:31.692-04:00I agree with Rambling Taoist. Do what feels right....I agree with Rambling Taoist. Do what feels right. AND don't compromise your truth. <br /><br />As far as someone closing off a space to you, I think that sometimes we fit with others, and as we grow, this may shift. It isn't good/bad/right/or wrong. It just is.<br /><br />Good luck with everything, my friend.Mollyhttp://destinationthejourney.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7828389555620814846.post-73608892162430979872009-07-06T15:32:08.925-04:002009-07-06T15:32:08.925-04:00HI RT
"thank you, again...:-) and your last...HI RT<br /><br />"thank you, again...:-) and your last comment describes my quandary quite well, - quite well indeed. <br /><br />Loev GailGailhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11337675996256691215noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7828389555620814846.post-69603449957708736372009-07-06T15:29:53.923-04:002009-07-06T15:29:53.923-04:00Hi R T
I love your real honest matter-of-fact appr...Hi R T<br />I love your real honest matter-of-fact approach to life. Thank you for the levity. <br /><br />And I like the "some times we merge and some times we diverge".....simple and profound. Your Asperger's has not held you back at all from where I sit. :-)<br /><br />Thank you for taking the time to offer me your insight and wisdom R T. It means SO much.<br /><br />Love to you<br />Gail<br />peace.....Gailhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11337675996256691215noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7828389555620814846.post-23497295611562242252009-07-06T15:26:15.470-04:002009-07-06T15:26:15.470-04:00I want to address a point razed by the Grizzled On...I want to address a point razed by the Grizzled One. While I certainly agree that <b>open</b> is preferable to <b>closed</b>, human interaction and relationships often don't fit in neat little boxes.<br /><br />I have been in situations before and have known of others in similar situations who have chosen the tact of trying to clear the air or have attempted to end a relationship by airing differences and coming to a resolution to part ways.<br /><br />Sometimes it works as intended and, sometimes, it doesn't work at all. In the latter case, all it ends up doing is to heap even more hurt on an already open wound. Far from clearing the air, it muddles things to the point that neither party knows what's up or down.<br /><br />When it comes to human endeavors, there is no ONE right approach. The dynamics of every situation are different and, what might work 99 times out of 100, may not work the one time you most need it to.The Rambling Taoisthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04730292897416827840noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7828389555620814846.post-68664109940974409952009-07-06T15:20:19.246-04:002009-07-06T15:20:19.246-04:00Hi Trish -
It is work - a 10 year relationship wh...Hi Trish -<br /><br />It is work - a 10 year relationship which started as friends-co-workers, and when I got diagnosed with M S she got promoted to manager 5 years ago and it has been quite challenging to manage this dual relationship. I am at a disadvantage because she is a manager. As friends we are equal but we aren't just friends.<br /><br />ack, (to quote Kevin)<br /><br />Love to you <br />Gail<br />peace......Gailhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11337675996256691215noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7828389555620814846.post-28223882048360351362009-07-06T15:17:35.429-04:002009-07-06T15:17:35.429-04:00Hi ANne-
"thank you" too for taking th...Hi ANne-<br /><br /><br />"thank you" too for taking the time to offer your wisdom and insight and understanding on matters such as this. And I hear you on the 'waiting' and I have been and some things have changed - and I know I am growing and changing - I beleve I felt trapped when I was asked to meet with her- I am not ready.<br /><br />THanks SO much Anne.<br /><br />Love to you<br />Gail<br />peace.....Gailhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11337675996256691215noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7828389555620814846.post-46199828070086320872009-07-06T15:08:15.817-04:002009-07-06T15:08:15.817-04:00Hi grizz-
Wow - ya. I hear ya.
these words you ...Hi grizz-<br /><br />Wow - ya. I hear ya.<br /><br />these words you wrote ring SO true.<br /><br />"but I expect a decision of silence is just another way of avoiding either an admission of an already-occurred end; a sub-conscious desire to hold the cards in your hand and make a decision without saying so; or a fear of further rejection/dismissal. I say it's better to walk away with both of you knowing where the other stands, and to can carry all the guilt/anger/hurt alone......"<br /><br />thank you Grizz for taking the time, for offering real true advice and for holding me to task.<br /><br />Love to you<br />Gail<br />peace.....Gailhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11337675996256691215noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7828389555620814846.post-20422450945540647302009-07-06T14:29:10.938-04:002009-07-06T14:29:10.938-04:00As you know because you're there—there is no c...As you know because you're there—there is no clear, easy, painless answer. You're hurt if you do, hurt if you don't; you don't want to hurt; you're going to hurt, get hurt, be hurt, possibly deliver and inflict hurt.<br /><br />I don't know the circumstances of your situation. Don't know whether it can or can not be saved and made whole again; don't know whether you want to even if you can; don't know if you should. I do know that every road will have its share of hurt. And that's the vulnerability of like—we must put ourselves out there, open, revealed, in order to live, to experience the good things life has to offer…and in so doing, we're exposed, vulnerable, subject to great hurts. There is not way to avoid this and be a whole person. To close yourself off isn't the answer. You can never know love without risking hurt—rejection, betrayal, and a whole host of similar hurts. <br /><br />I will say this by way of advice—in the end, nothing can ever be repaired until it is brought out into the open. You can ignore, pass over, excuse, spin-doctor, or simply accept it as part of the burden of the relationship, and remain silent…but it won't be fixed. And whatever it is will simply fester and hold you back from healing or enjoying. You don't need to expose yourself any more that you've done already, but I expect a decision of silence is just another way of avoiding either an admission of an already-occurred end; a sub-conscious desire to hold the cards in your hand and make a decision without saying so; or a fear of further rejection/dismissal. I say it's better to walk away with both of you knowing where the other stands, and to can carry all the guilt/anger/hurt alone. If you've been wronged, say so—in the most matter-of-fact voice you can muster. No overt anger, no begging or pity, no shame. No matter how it turns out, at least the other party has your words now inside them to contend with. But, Gail, that's just me. This may not be what you want. <br /><br />You are at a crossroad. Try and figure where you want whichever road you choose to take you…and follow it as proudly and honorably and righteously (yes, righteously!) as possible.Grizz…………https://www.blogger.com/profile/04828454689578685330noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7828389555620814846.post-13237196378160487942009-07-06T13:27:59.938-04:002009-07-06T13:27:59.938-04:00Hi Gail, When I find myself in the kind of quandar...Hi Gail, When I find myself in the kind of quandary you describe here, where nothing seems to fit and there seem to be no good answers, I wait. I wait for the One who never disappoints me to bring me around so that I can hear and know from another perspective.<br /><br />It sounds to me like you are growing, and with growth comes change. Others will move out of our space. That's not to say that they aren't still a part of us, because at our core we are one. But we focus on different things, and we want different things. This other person isn't bad or wrong and neither are you, there is a place for all of us, perfectly. Sometimes we just have to move on. <br /><br />By waiting for your answers to come you are allowing the greater knowing you to speak and create healing for you.<br /><br />I have faith that you can get especially clear on this and that clarity will be a great gift to you and all those who are part of your life.<br />x0x0anne partainhttp://thepathofenlightenment.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7828389555620814846.post-73840595020394548392009-07-06T13:10:07.888-04:002009-07-06T13:10:07.888-04:00While I totally appreciate and relate to the feeli...While I totally appreciate and relate to the feelings you express - I'm profoundly curious about the events that triggered all this thinking.<br /><br />Work? Family? Bartenders?PENolanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17920921974302444898noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7828389555620814846.post-17692500582487243432009-07-06T13:01:51.336-04:002009-07-06T13:01:51.336-04:00OK, without knowing any of the particulars of the ...OK, without knowing any of the particulars of the relationship you are referring to, here's my take -- Do what feels right to you. If you feel you want to meet with this person, meet with them. If you'd rather skip it, then skip it.<br /><br />Personally, I don't think any of us should have a problem with such crossroads. We need to realize that people move and grow along their own paths. Sometimes these paths merge with ours and, at other times, they diverge.<br /><br />As all things in this realm are ephemeral anyway and change is the way of the universe, we need to realize people will come and go in our lives. The point is not too long for the day our paths merged, but to celebrate it as it happens and to realize it may not always be that way.<br /><br />That said, I've written on my blog about my Asperger's tendency to have problems with relationships because of the inherent nature of change, especially when I was a young lad. As I age, I'm handling this inherent nature better, but not as well as I would like.The Rambling Taoisthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04730292897416827840noreply@blogger.com