Wednesday, August 12, 2015

"Times, they are a changin"!

 So true, this song says it all - about the cycles of life, ebbs and flows - surrender, change........I always recall when my Dad died years ago - I received a card in which lines from this song were quoted - and so too the meaning of his life was lovingly blended into the whole of things just as the seasons turn.

And so where am I in the seasons turns.  I am in battle with infection.  A raging battle my body, mind and spirit are fighting against.    I will start round four of oral antibiotics and if these are not successful it is on to IV antibiotics and a stay in the hospital.   I am spinning and turning through all seasons in my frightened mind and heavy heart.  Overwhelmed by the challenges of MS this battle on top of my daily fight for freedom is taking a toll on me, on us.

Also, our living situation is in upheaval.  This house may have to be sold and we will need to live elsewhere.  I struggle because I/we are not making that decision and in that I feel so small, powerless as I wait for decisions to be made that will impact our lives greatly.  I am trying to find where my power lies and right now it is in how I handle the waiting.  Not ideal.

So yes, I am turning and spinning and in waiting all at the same time.  I am overwhelmed and frightened.  I am holding on to Skipp as our world spins.  If I were to give an image of how I feel it would look like this:

imagine a little mouse, in a hole in the bottom of the wall just peeking out to see when it is safe to come out in to the light -